It feels like we've never been alive…
by crashspike22
Summary: Love is such an unfair emotion. There is no balance to it. And most times you can find yourself loving someone who is absolutely no good for you. AU Brooke/Lucas
1. Going Back

_**Author Notes: I know that I have ton of other stories to update and such but something happened to me over the last few months. I fell in love with someone who didn't love me as much I loved them. And it sucked and it took me to a place in my head that I didn't know existed. So from that state of mind, I started this story. It is AU of course and I hope you guys and gals like it. **_

**Disclaimer: I own nothing and all praise Mark and the CW.**

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 1 – Going back…**

_I used to say that love was all you need. _

_There are so many people in this world. And sometimes you meet a person that just makes you feel things you never thought possible. They always say the right things and make you believe that real love is not just in fairy tales. A touch of from their hand or the slightest look and you feel like you are on cloud nine. _

_It is pure bliss. _

_The thing that no one ever tells is about how sometimes those same people who can make you feel completely helpless and unwanted. They can use you. Take you for granted and make you feel like you are the most horrible person who has ever lived. _

_Love is such an unfair emotion. There is no balance to it. And most times you can find yourself loving someone who is absolutely no good for you. It will make you ignore the signs that are obvious to everyone else. And it won't even let you see what has been in front of your face the whole time. _

_I wish that I had never fallen in love._

_At least that way I would still believe in it. _

August 25th, 2006

Brooke Davis had been trying to read this stupid book for her English class. She tried reading it at the library and again in the tutor center and again while she was watching a re-run of Maury Povich. She just couldn't focus on the words. Although if you asked her, Brooke would tell you that she had a very good reason for not being able to focus on the dull English textbook.

"Maybe, I should change…" She mumbled and got up to change out of her back to school outfit.

She pulled off her new top and matching skirt and replaced them with her favorite pair of loose fitting blue jeans that flared at the bottom and a comfy beige sweater that opened in the front and was about the same length as her pea coat. She pulled her hair into a ponytail and plopped down onto her bed with the book. As much as she liked to be in latest fashion, there was something about a good pair of jeans that made everything seem a little easier.

"Ok…once more with feeling…"

Brooke opened the pages and began reading once more. She got a few lines in when 'he' popped back into her head once again. God, he had only been back in town for a few hours and she was already thinking about him. Even though she didn't actually speak to him, she had been thinking about him all day long. She tossed the book on the floor and sighed. The studying was supposed to help her not think about him. He looked better than she remembered. Those 3 months he spent away from Tree Hill had treated him well.

"Really well…" Brooke exhaled.

There was something about him and she couldn't explain but just seeing him made the rest of the world slip away. It scared her and at the same time, amazed her that someone could have that effect on her. She always thought that he never really understood the power that he held over her. It bordered on unhealthy at times but she would never admit that to anyone.

Not even to herself…

She reached for her phone and scrolled her phone book until she found his number. There was no way that she was going to call him.

After all she did break up with him…

_May 28__th__, 2006_

"_This is it? You can't be with me anymore just because I am going to stay with my Uncle for the summer?" He said. She could hear in his voice that this was catching him off guard and he really had no idea why she was doing this._

"_You think this is about you going away for the summer? Do you realize this is the first time I have seen in you in two weeks?" Brooke was fighting as hard as she could to not just drop this whole thing. She didn't want to do this but how much more of this isolation was she supposed to take? _

"_I have just had a lot going on…and I am sorry that you feel that way but will you just let me explain what has been going on." She saw the look on his face and could tell that he really didn't know what he had done to make her upset. She could feel her resolve weakening just from being this close to him. When he wasn't right in front of her, it was easier for her to hold on to the hurt and resentment that had built up over time. And now, just because he was right in front of her again, all of that washed away. Brooke closed her eyes and tried to continue on._

"_You don't get it do you?"_

"_I don't get it. You and I are good together. What did I do to make it so you can't be with me? Why can't you look me in the eyes?" He sounded so upset. Brooke could feel her knees getting weaker and weaker from being this close to him again. Even with her eyes closed she could still see what face he was making. Just from the way he asked the question she could see his face. _

"_Brooke, please look at me." He pleaded. Brooke knew that if she did that she would never be able to do what she needed to do. She turned so her back was to him, hoping that would be enough for her to get through this._

"_Pretty Girl, look at me please. I just want an answer." Damn it. He said it. God damn she loved it when he said Pretty Girl. It was like she had never really heard those words until he said them to her. She could swear that her soul was vibrating when said that to her. She took another deep breath and still didn't open her eyes or turn around. _

"_No, I can't be with you because I just can't take the loneliness that comes with being with you. I know you need your space but I never see you. You have gone days without talking to me and it doesn't even bother you. Now you tell me that you are leaving? You have been gone from this relationship for so long that I don't even remember what being with you is like. I can't do this anymore." _

"_I am sorry! I just…look... I am just used to being on my own. I am sorry I made you feel like that. But I know you are the girl for me. I know you are and I know that I am supposed to be with you." He answered. _

"_How long am I supposed to just wait for you to get used to having me in your life? I just can't do it anymore. You are saying this now and in 3 months from now I'll still be sitting here hoping that you might call me." Brooke could feel her heart breaking as she spoke. She didn't want to let him go but she couldn't sit in limbo every day wondering if he was going to call her or answer a text message that she sent him._

"_Brooke…I love you. We can fix this. Whatever this is… We can fix us." He whispered. She finally opened her eyes and turned to face him. He looked so sad. Almost as sad as she was feeling. She looked him in the eyes and tears started rolling down her cheeks. She needed more from him. She wanted to feel like she was in a relationship. No matter how intense her feelings were, she was tired of being in a relationship all by herself. And even though she loved him more than she thought possible, she had to try and let go._

"_I know you do..." Brooke turned to walk away but she felt his hand on her shoulder and she felt like mush. Just a touch from his hand on her exposed shoulder and she was pretty much silly putty. She turned to face him once more._

"_You don't want to do this, Brooke. You need me…" He sounded so confident. Like he knew something that she didn't. _

_He pulled her in close and she didn't pull away. His face was so close to hers. Brooke held her breath, even though she didn't want to be with him, she needed to kiss him. After a few seconds of staying that close to each others face, they kissed one last time. Whenever they did kiss, she always could feel it in her soul. The kiss deepened and Brooke could swear the world was spinning around her. She just needed to feel this one more time before she let him go. How could she let this go? She gently broke the kiss and it felt like she was still humming from the action. She took a few steps back and let out a sad little smile._

"_Goodbye…"_

She still remembered that look on his face when she said those words to him. The hurt from always waiting for him to acknowledge her was still fresh in her mind. But after 3 months and no contact from him at all, all of those feelings she had locked away in her heart came flooding back to her. As soon as she was near him, Brooke was right back where she started, wanting him to give her some kind of attention, something to let her know that she wasn't the only one wrestling with feelings that were way too strong.

"Might as well ask for a million dollars…"

Brooke kept staring at his number hoping that if she kept staring at it, maybe he would call her. But was that what she really wanted? She broke up with him for reason. They didn't talk over the summer for a reason. Maybe after all she said to him, he had moved on. As soon as she had that thought she felt an uneasy feeling wash over her. What if he had moved on from what they had? What if he spent that last three months moving on? Why shouldn't he move on? She did dump him. But what if he was really going to change and she ended things too quickly? Maybe he did move on.

The real question that needed to be answered was did she really want to know if he had?

Brooke let out a frustrated groaned and closed her phone. The tiny bit of self control stared out of her window. She knew that if she kept going down this road of guessing she was going to drive herself crazy. She did miss him. And after 3 months, even if she did break up with him, she really did miss him. But she wasn't going to break this silence that had built up between them.

_Earlier that morning…_

_Brooke had gotten to school late this morning. First day back from summer vacation and she was already picking up where she left off. She barely got anything that could be called sleep. Her mind just kept reeling and going over every little detail of the last time she saw him. She knew that at some point she was going to see him. and she could calm her nerves at all. Part of her hoped that she could dodge him and avoid the impending awkwardness that was bound to occur from seeing him. If she did see him it was going to be on her terms. _

_She slammed the door of her car and made her way towards the entrance of the school. And with every step she took, her confidence grew more and more. She wasn't going to let seeing him again bother her. In fact, she didn't care either way. He didn't hold any power over her anymore and this was her chance to prove it. _

"_I don't need him, I don't need him..." _

_Each time she repeated the line to herself over and over again. Hoping that this little mantra would be enough to be get her through the day. _

"_I really don't need him…he wasn't right…"_

_And as soon as the words left her mouth, Brooke heard the familiar rumble of a 1967 black Mustang. She stopped in her tracks. She wasn't ready to see him. Not now. She didn't want to turn around. Her stomach already started its dance from earlier and she felt like her heart was going to pound its way out of her chest. Brooke turned around and saw the car rumble its way into the parking lot. _

"_Damn, I missed that car…" The Mustang had belonged to his uncle and from the looks of it; they spent the summer working on it. The new black paint job made the car look as if it belonged in one of those car racing movies. There was also a new white strip that started on the front hood, went over the roof and came down on the trunk. There were new tires and chrome that seemed to sparkle in the sunlight. _

_As the car door opened and she saw him getting out, she felt like she couldn't breathe. Three months and a messy break-up that needed to happen, Brooke knew that she couldn't resist him_

_No matter what she did…_

Brooke opened the phone once again and tried to remind herself that she didn't want to get involved with him again. And the off balance sweaty palm feeling was not from missing him. She wanted to remember all of the reasons why she had left him but none of them seemed to have validity anymore. Her mind was screaming for not to do it.

"This is a bad idea. You can't do this to yourself…"

She struggled to keep her guard up. Once she opened the door he would come back into her world and turn everything upside down again. Even after making all of these valid points to herself, her heart was hearing any of it. She could just send him a text message and that would be that. Brooke took another deep breath and typed in a simple' hello' and pushed send. And soon as she sent it, this feeling of regret washed over her. What the hell was she doing? Was she so desperate for love that even this bad idea was seemed like a good one? But before she had a chance to beat herself up for sending the text message, her phone rang. She looked at the caller id but she knew who it was.

"Hello?" Brooke said trying to sound like she didn't know who it was.

"Hey Pretty Girl..."

And just like that, Brooke Davis was hooked on Lucas Scott once again…

To be continued…


	2. This was the moment it all changed

_**Author Notes: Thank you to bdavisrulz, dianehermans, BDavisLScott23, eunice101, and Aprilbaby19 for all the reviews. And thanks to my partner in write, OMGOTH23 for keeping me focused and Dacia for everything else. This chapter is a flashback to the early days of the relationship. Next chapter will be back to the present. I hope you guys like it. **_

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 2 – This was the moment it all changed…**

_Every day I found myself changing._

_Because that's what love does. _

_It changes you. And I had always hoped it would change me for the better. But now sitting here today, I can honestly that love can the way you see the entire world._

_Especially when you meet that one person who can make the world seem a little less dark. You can find yourself doing things that you never thought you could do. _

_And accepting things that you probably shouldn't…_

_April 22__nd__ 2006_

_Brooke was flat on her back with her boyfriend Lucas Scott's lean muscular naked body hovering over her. She could feel his eyes roaming all over her body. This wasn't the first she had been naked in front of a boy but this was the first time she was crazy in love with the boy. She knew what was about to happen and even though she had sex before, being there with Lucas made everything seem more intense. There was nothing extraordinary about the day they had spent together. They had just gone to see a movie together but everything Lucas did was perfect. When she got to his house he was wearing a new outfit that made him look amazing. No guy had dressed up for her. He told her that he just wanted to look nice for her._

"_Pretty Girl…are you sure that you want to do this?" Lucas whispered from above._

"_I'm a big girl, Lucas. And yes, I have never wanted anything more." Brooke whispered back. _

_They got back to his place and she was on him before they even got in the door all the way. There was this fire that felt like it was burning away her soul and the only way she knew how to contain it was to kiss him. The kiss led to clothes being pulled off and that led to them being in the bed together. She was in a haze. Everything seemed like a dream and she hoped that she would never wake up from it. _

"_I need you inside…" Brooke started to stay but Lucas kissed her before she could say anything more. _

"_Sssh…I know…" Lucas said and reached down into the space between them._

_Brooke moaned as she felt the head of Lucas' member gently push and part her entrance. Her remaining thoughts vanished from her head and all she could focus on was the way he felt inside of her. She tilted her back towards and bit her bottom lip. He wasn't too big or too small, he was nice. Her mind was swirling. She was falling in love with him and amazed at how her center was reacting to just the tip of his member being inside of her. _

"_Ahh-shit…damn…" Brooke panted. _

_Lucas finally pushed himself all the way inside of Brooke's walls and the cheerleader couldn't believe it. She was very close to finishing and they had barely started. This was heaven. It had to be. He was some kind of angel that was made for especially for her. Lucas slowly withdrew from her but not all the way. He quickly plunged himself back into her and Brooke hooked her legs underneath his ass so her calves were resting on the back of his thighs. Her right hand grabbed onto the small of his back and her left hand gripped the back of his neck. Brooke crossed her ankles and used her leverage to make Lucas press into her some more. He groaned from Brooke pushing him in deeper._

"_Do you like this, Pretty Girl…do you like the way I feel…" Lucas placed his lips Brooke's neck and began sucking her flesh into mouth. Brooke gritted her teeth from his actions and pushed her ankles forward, causing Lucas' member to plunge as far as it could go inside. She grunted as Lucas made these short but powerful thrusts into her. He was actually making the bed slam into the wall. Brooke wanted to scream. She wanted let everyone that could hear her that Lucas Scott was giving the best sex she had ever had. And she didn't want him to ever stop. _

"_Uhh-uhh-uhh…I-I love it..I f-fucking luv it… "Brooke released her grip on the back of his neck and put her hand on the headboard to keep it from leaving a dent in the wall. She looked down in between her bodies hoping to catch a glimpse of what was going inside of her. He felt so goddamn good. _

"_This is all mine, Pretty Girl…isn't it?" Lucas's sweat was starting drip onto Brooke's face and she did feel like she belonged to him. She knew from the bottom of her heart that she would always belong to Lucas Scott. As he continued pumping in and out with an almost aggressive pace, Brooke's mind was racing. She had never felt this good from being with someone. However there was something different about this._

_She hadn't came yet. _

"_Tell me Pretty Girl who does this belong to…"Lucas grunted as he pounded himself into her. She just couldn't understand it. She released her ankles from behind him and Lucas grabbed her leg and placed it on his shoulder. It allowed him actually get a little further inside of her. He made one smooth motion and slid in further than he had been before and the tip of his member bumped against something. _

"_UNNH….it's all y-yoursssss…do that again…" Brooke hissed into his ear. _

_Lucas pushed himself into Brooke, hitting the spot inside of her once more. Brooke let go of the head and began pulling at his exposed back. She was dragging her nails across his back, not hard enough to leave any marks but enough to let Lucas know he was doing everything right. The bed continued slamming into the wall over and over but by this point, Brooke didn't care anymore. _

"_UHH…d-don't ..UNNH S-Shit…ah…ah…ssstop…do it again…Pleeez…" Brooke could feel something. This something was coming from somewhere way deep inside of her. It felt like a little tingle around her belly button. With each push, the tingle seemed to be traveling down an invisible path from her belly to her center. Lucas let Brooke's leg down and turned her (without pulling out of her) so that she was on her side. He straddled her right leg so it underneath him and her backside was flush against his waist. After that, he grabbed her arm so she was turned and her breasts were facing him. He held his hand on her wrist and pushed into Brooke once again. _

"_Stay with me, Pretty Girl…I know you can take it...can't you?" Lucas grunted. His every thrust was making it feel like he was trying to push the bed through the wall and into the next room. Brooke arched her back slightly to give some resistance which made her cheeks slapped against Lucas. The tingle continued building up and moving outwards from her center. She was feeling it going into her thighs and up into her breasts. It was an unbelievable feeling. _

"_D-damnnnn it…wha' th' fuck are you doin to meeee…" Brooke squealed. _

"_I am so fuckin' close Pretty Girl…Turn over for me…" Lucas turned her over so she was on all fours. Her dark brown hair was plastered all over her face with sweat and even though Lucas had exited her for the moment, the tingle was still swarming throughout her body. She was barely knew what day it was anymore. When Lucas's hands gripped her hips, she started gently pushing herself back into him. All that could be heard in the room was Lucas's low grunts and the sound of Brooke's backside slapping against him in a slow and steady rhythm. The tingle which had finally spread all over Brooke's body had caused her to collapse on the bed. Her hands balled up the bed sheet into her fists and grunted with each plunge Lucas made inside of her. Then suddenly, Lucas hit that spot again. The one that had made the tingles start in the first place. And the tingles that had been flowing all over body began going off and turning into full fledged fireworks. Lucas grabbed her waist and started quickening his movements._

"_Brooke…shit…" He was close to finishing but she didn't even notice that he was saying anything. The muscles inside of her were contracting and her breathing changed into more of a panting._

"_Lucas…Lucas…Lucas…Lucas…" Brooke began chanting his name like she was trying to cast a spell. The brunette was sure that she had had an orgasm before. In fact she knew that she had one. Her body was her playground more than once and she knew that when she did it for herself, Brooke Davis always came. But this was something that she had never felt before. She could feel this in her heart. She could feel it in her soul. _

_She loved him. _

_There was no denying it. _

"_Oh…oh my god…oh migawd…LUCAS!" Brooke screamed as her inner walls contracting over and over again around her his member once more. Her entire body shuddered as the explosions that were occurring underneath her skin finally began to slow down and felt a feeling of euphoria floated around her head. She didn't know what happened next. It all seemed like a blur to her. Lucas had turned back over so they were once again in the missionary position again. He continued his thunderous pace and she was enjoying the feeling of him still but her orgasm had pretty much left her in a lingering and pleasant state of ecstasy. _

"_I am sssoooo close…." Lucas groaned from above. He covered in sweat and his body was glistening from it. Brooke was just as sweaty. The sheets underneath her were soaked and sticking to her back. And she was pretty sure that she was lying in the wet spot that her orgasm brought on. He made another heavy thrust into her._

"_Lucasss…pleeze…uhh…just cum…I don' care where…" Brooke moaned. As soon as the words were in the air, Lucas had pulled out of her and was straddling her stomach. Lucas began pulling at himself but Brooke reached out for it. Lucas let it go immediately so Brooke could hold it. She wrapped her slender fingers around it and began stroking him up and down. He was still very slick from being inside of her so he didn't need that much help. She pulled on him one more time and that was it. _

"_Fuck…" He spilled himself all over Brooke's stomach and some of it managed to splash onto her breasts. She smiled as she left the warm liquid splash onto her skin. Brooke felt like she and Lucas were connected. That it went beyond words and she had finally found the one person who really understand her mind and her body. It was so nice that she was able to make feel good and she held arms out for Lucas to hold her. _

_But he didn't._

"_What?" Lucas asked._

"_D-don't you wanna…I-I mean I just thought..." Brooke stammered. What did she say wrong?_

"_Sorry, I don't really do the cuddling afterwards thing…I am going to get some cereal or something…" He got up off of Brooke leaving her lying there with his 'mess' still on her body. He grabbed a towel and tossed onto the bed._

"_You can use that…if you need anything else just ask…" Lucas grabbed his boxers quickly pulled them back on and did the same with his pants. He was gone before Brooke could say anything else. She sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped the towel around her naked body. She didn't know what to think about what had just happened. He had just taken her to a place that she didn't know her body could go to and then left her sitting there all alone. She picked up her clothes and went into the bathroom that connected to his room. She closed the door tightly behind her. Brooke kept her back to mirror. She couldn't even look at herself. How could he treat like that? She felt a few tears roll down her face. Is this what it was always going to be like? She pulled her into a loose ponytail, dropped the towel on the counter, climbed into the shower and turned the water on. _

"_Why… why would he…" _

_The tears streamed down her face as she frantically scrubbed his orgasm off of her body. Why had the universe played such a horrible trick on her? Nobody had ever made her feel so good one second and so completely worthless the next. All she wanted was to finish her shower and then get the hell away from Lucas Scott._

_10 minutes later…_

_Brooke opened the door to the bedroom and before she could come out into the room; Lucas was wrapping his arms around her. Her heart fluttered from the embrace and her arms slid around him. She took a deep breath and inhaled his scent deeply. She wanted to stay mad at him but being close to him seemed to make everything fade into the background like white noise._

"_I'm sorry Pretty Girl. I am just…I am just not a touchy feely person. But I won't let that happen again. Ok?" Lucas whispered into the embrace._

_Brooke held her breath. She thought about telling him the truth. Telling him that he made her feel cheap, unwanted and unloved all in one swoop. Then something happened. Being close to him seemed to just erase any of the doubts she that had appeared in her mind. She let it go. All that mattered was that he was sorry and she knew that he didn't like to cuddle afterwards. But at least she had him and she wanted to do anything to make him happy. _

"_Yeah I am not into that either…old habit I guess…" Brooke smiled and let Lucas go. _

"_Really?" Lucas sounded like he didn't believe her at all._

"_Yeah just be sure to clean up your mess next time…" Brooke playfully swatted his arm. All that mattered was that he did really care about her and she knew that he was the only person that could have that effect on her. And that he was the only person who wanted her. She didn't want to admit it but no matter what he did, Brooke would always find a way to forgive him. _

_Even if that meant she had to swallow her own feelings to do it. _

To Be Continued…


	3. Seeing with Blinders

_**Author Notes: Thank you to dianehermans for her pms(sorry for the wait), BDavisLScott23, fanou, and bdavisrulz for your reviews. And thank you very much to Dacia and as always OMGOTH23 for giving me advice and insight and the shove needed to get this moving. And Paramore for the song the Only Exception. If I didn't hear that song on MTV2 this would have been a lot harder to write. Thanks for reading!**_

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 3 – Seeing with Blinders…**

_When you fall in love, there always seems to be this moment. _

_That one brief millisecond when you decide that this one person is all that you want. Once your heart makes that choice, there is no more logic or reason anymore. All you want is that one person and everything else seem insignificant. Even when that person reminds you that they might not be the best fit for you, you are willing to overlook that because…well…because you love them. _

_And you are willing to look past anything to be with them…_

August 28th, 2006

Time seemed to be moving slower than usual. At first, the tutor center seemed like a good place to hang out. Get a little studying done and distract her brain from dwelling on the impending meeting with Lucas. Brooke had tried very hard to just ignore anything with a clock on it all day long. But everywhere she looked was a clock. Maybe the tutoring center wasn't the best place to hide. She sat back in her chair and groaned.

"Why is this day going so slow?"

"Maybe because once again you are wrapped up in vortex that is Lucas Scott…"

Brooke looked across the table at her best friend, Haley James, and smirked. She knew Haley since the 3rd grade and she had always been there for her. And Haley wasn't exactly thrilled when she found out that Brooke had been talking to Lucas again.

_August 26__th__, 2006_

"_Are you out of you goddamn mind?" Haley's voice came blaring through the cell phone so loudly that Brooke had to move the phone away from her ear. She had been going back and forth on telling her best friend that she had talked to Lucas again. After they had broken up, Haley helped her put everything in her world back together. _

"_Why did you call him? Why would you do that?" Haley shouted into Brooke's ear. _

"_Are you done yelling?" Brooke said calmly. She hated when Haley got like this. She would just keep yelling even though she made her point. After a few moments of silence, Haley finally answered._

"_Yeah, I am done…"_

"_Good…" Brooke answered._

"_So again, why did you call him?"_

"_Haley, I really missed him." _

"_Brooke, I know you did. But honey, he treated you like shit. I mean, there is no reason for you and Lucas to ever speak again." Haley sounded worried and she had every reason to be. _

"_I just wanted to see how his summer went…" Brooke said._

"_You can't do this to yourself. You made a big step when you broke up with him. And you can't go back to that…" Haley was doing what she always did. She was trying to take care of her. Even now when she didn't agree with her choices, Haley just wanted her to be happy._

"_It's Lucas. I mean…"Brooke whispered._

"_Yeah it is…"_

"Hales, we just want to try again…" Brooke knew that Hales wouldn't understand it. Hell she didn't understand it either. She couldn't explain to Haley how good Lucas made her feel or how intense it was to make love to him. And how even though there was a lot of bad in their past, she could look past it because of how good he made her feel.

"Brooke, I know that…I just don't want to see you get hurt." Haley put her hand on top of Brooke's and smiled.

"Just be careful and keep your eyes open this time."

"What do you mean by that?" Brooke asked.

Haley took a deep breath. Whenever she did this, Brooke knew that she had something on her mind. Even during the phone call she could tell that Haley was holding back and that the tutor wouldn't let this go until she said her piece. Brooke sat up and looked her friend in the eyes. Hales ran her fingers through her hair and closed her textbook.

"You always have your blinders on when you deal with him. You only see what you want to see when it comes to him. I know you love him in a way that is very profound and very powerful. But you can't let those feelings override the truth..." Haley got up from her chair and sat next to Brooke.

"He treated you like his plaything and now that you finally showed some of the toughness that I know you have, he wanted you again. The only time he ever showed anything besides a passing interest was when you said you were leaving him. "

"That's not true, Haley…" Brooke couldn't believe her friend was doing this. Why couldn't she just be happy and see that her eyes were open this time? At least she thought they were.

"Just promise me that you will listen to your brain as much as you listen to your heart. Pinky swear?" Haley held out her pinky and Brooke held her out as well.

"Promise…" Brooke said quietly as she pulled on her best friend's pinky.

"Ok…" Haley looked into her eyes and Brooke could tell that she wasn't trying to make her feel stupid for choosing to talk to Lucas. She just wanted her to be careful. And there was nothing wrong with that.

**A few hours later…**

Brooke was standing on her front porch as the Mustang thundered into her driveway. Her heart started to race the second she heard the engine turn off. Everything seemed to slow down as the car door opened. And then there he was. His hair was slicked back and a little longer than the last time she really saw him. His face had this little bit of scruff on it that gave his face a little something extra. She didn't know what the extra was but she liked the way it looked on him. And he had been hitting the weight room while he was away because his frame seemed to be less lean and a little thicker. She could see it in her arms as well. Who knew that a white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans could look so amazing on him? Brooke held her breath as he walked from his car and up the path to her house. As he got closer, for some reason Haley's words popped into her head.

'_You always have your blinders on when you deal with him. You only see what you want to see when it comes to him.'_

She quickly dismissed the thought because after what felt like a lifetime, Lucas Scott was standing in front of her once again. Brooke exhaled the breath she had been holding and spoke.

"Hey."

"Hey, Pretty Girl."

Brooke could feel the resolve that she did have wash away as soon as he said those magic words to her. She honestly felt like she was on another planet whenever he said that. And she was starting to think Lucas knew exactly what he was doing when said that.

"I missed hearing you say that…"

Lucas smiled that little half smile and stopped on the step below the one Brooke was standing on. They were face to face now. His nose was practically touching hers and she was suddenly very aware of every single thing that was happening with her body. It was like Lucas was giving off this vibe and it was hitting her in waves. She was getting this warm feeling that ran up her spine and flowed all over her body.

"I missed you... The summer has treated you well." Lucas let his finger trace the side of her cheek like he was trying to remember what she felt like. She could feel her nipples growing hard and the flimsy sheer tank top was doing little to hide what effect he was having on her. God, why did she think wearing a flimsy tank top and a short white skirt was a good idea? Brooke crossed her arms trying to hide them but from the look on Lucas's face that saw them.

"Damn, you are doing it again…" Brooke whispered.

"Doing what?" Lucas smirked.

"Making me fall for you all over again…"

"So there was a time when you didn't want me…" Lucas whispered into her ear. His words were like a dare. She was getting turned on from just his words. Brooke could feel herself getting more and more excited. Her eyes closed and he whispered in her ear once again.

"Pretty Girl, can't we just go back to where we were before?"

"I don't know…I mean I want to…" Brooke would have agreed to anything that he asked her to do. She knew that they needed to talk about a lot of things and she thought that was the reason he was here. But there was this burning that seemed to radiate from underneath her skin. How was he doing this?

"So, then what is stopping you?" Lucas put his hands on her arms and rubbed them up and down. She tried to stay focused on what Haley had said before. She knew they needed to talk. Brooke took a step back from him, breaking the contact his hands. She smiled at him.

"Luke, there is a lot stopping me. But I am willing to talk about this…"

"But there is something else I have wanted to do since I saw you this morning…" Lucas took another step closer to her. She could see it in his eyes. That familiar glint he would get. She took another step back and hit against her front door. There was no way that this was going to happen. Brooke took a deep breath. She had to be strong because she wanted more than just sex from Lucas. Even though it seemed that sex was the only thing on his mind.

"Lucas. If we aren't going to talk then, I think you should leave." Brooke tried to sound as strong as Haley told her to be. If she wanted any chance of making this work, she had to hold her ground. Her heart was begging for to her to give into it. She hadn't been touched by anyone all summer. In fact, she really wanted to touch him, kiss him, and everything else that was running through her mind. But that wouldn't help anything and that would be her falling back into her old pattern of thinking. This was going to different.

Because it had to be.

"Are you sure?" Lucas still had that look in his eye. Haley may have told her to be strong and all that but she had never had to face something like this. Every second she spent looking into his eyes was another crack in her armor. She looked down at her feet hoping that it would break the spell that he was weaving.

"Look. If you want to talk to me, then you can stay. But that is all I am offering…but if you can't handle that, then you should leave." Brooke left like she wanted to take the words back as soon as she said them.

"Do you have any idea have how much I missed you? Brooke, I really want to touch you right now…it's like I want to talk but all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you…" Lucas took another step onto the porch with Brooke. He was standing so close to her once again and the urge to touch him was pounding in her heart. God, she wanted to give in to this feeling. Every second she stood this close to him was another barrier broken.

"Lucas, please. Just go…" Brooke looked into his eyes. She was hoping that he could see that she wasn't rejecting him. She was just trying to make a point. Now at this very moment the cheerleader could not remember what the point was but she knew it was important.

"Well, maybe we could try this again tomorrow…it was very nice to see you again Pretty Girl. " Lucas smiled and gently kissed Brooke on the forehead. He turned, walked off of the front porch, and before he got to his car, Brooke had slipped inside of the house. She leaned against the door and slowly slid down until her backside was flat on the floor.

"Smooth…" Brooke let out a little chuckle and banged her head against the door. Even though she really wanted to just fall head first into the pool of her desire, for once she stood up to Lucas Scott. And she had this sense accomplishment. Like maybe she was finally turning a corner. Then she heard a knock on the door. She got up from the floor and took a deep breath. Her hand slowly turned the knob and opened it. And there was Lucas Scott at her door.

Again.

"Lucassmmmph…" She tried to ask him why he was back at her door but instead of words, Brooke got a hard and deep kiss from her former lover. He deepened the kiss, allowing his tongue to swirl into her mouth which caused Brooke to moan. Lucas's hands were on her behind and gave them a squeeze. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her up and her bare legs wrapped around his powerful torso. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he carried to the nearest wall. Brooke's back hit flush with the wall and Lucas's muscular frame pressed up against hers. The skirt had rolled up a bit so her core was pressed against his abs. He was so damn strong. There was no tenderness in the kiss at all. Their tongues dueled back and forth neither one showing any sign of backing down. She let her hands roam his back remembering every curve and muscle of his frame. He broke the kiss and stared into Brooke's eyes once again. Brooke could barely look at him his gaze so filled with desire that she thought he was trying to hypnotize her.

"Pretty Girl…I want be inside…"

Brooke knew this was a bad idea. That having sex with Lucas was not the best idea in the world and she would probably regret this later but she didn't know if she could resist this anymore. She wanted him and at the same time she didn't want to give in so easily. There had to be way for her to get what she needed and stay in control (at least for now anyway). She kissed him one more time and smiled.

"There is something else you can do for me…"

Her hands played in his hair. It always felt so amazing when he would go down on her. Every little flick or movement of his tongue sent a shudder through her spine. Every time Lucas went down on her, it was like an endurance trial. He always went down on her for so long and he never got tired of doing it. The white skirt she was wearing had been pushed up around her waist and her cotton panties had been pulled to the side exposing her center. Her top was still on but Lucas' hand would periodically reach up and play with her breasts. When she had told Lucas he could down on her, she thought he would just keep pushing until she caved. Instead, he carried her over to the couch and went to 'work'. She couldn't even talk and she really wanted to say something.

"Lucas…I-I…god I missed you…I wanna …uh-shit…" Brooke looked down and locked eyes with him. He brought his face brought hers. God, she could smell herself on his face. His chin and lips were damp from her core. It was the sexiest thing she had ever seen. Lucas pressed his lips onto hers and she could taste herself all through his kiss. He pulled back and smiled at her.

"Pretty Girl…just be quiet and let me work…" Lucas whispered.

Brooke felt like she had been slapped. She was just trying to tell him how much she cared. And how what he was doing was making her feel like she was in heaven. But all he wanted was her silence. Before she even had a chance to say anything about it, Lucas's face was already in-between her thighs once again. How could he say something like to her? She quickly lost her train of thought as his tongue slid inside of her folds once again. What he just said was wrong? Wasn't it? Her hands found their way back onto the back of his head once again. She moaned as Lucas continued working her core. She wanted to say something else but she was scared to say anything. Then she remembered something else Haley said to her before.

'_But you can't let those feelings override the truth...'_

This was the moment that she knew was coming. On the one hand, she could let the comment go and just let Lucas continue walking all over her like he had always done. On the other hand, she could tell him that what he said really hurt her feelings and that she wanted him to leave. Both choices seemed like the right thing to do. As she continued to hold his face, Brooke tried to weigh each of the options that were in front of her. Of course, it was difficult to make a choice like that when the person you have been thinking about for three months straight is in kneeling in front of you.

God, she wanted to be strong.

She wanted to believe that Lucas had changed.

Lucas had changed his tactics once more. He had started sliding the tip of his tongue around her clit and began sliding a finger in and out of her. Brooke had pretty much lost her train of thought when Lucas slipped a second finger inside of her. Her back arched up from the couch and she felt his free hand touch on her breast.

"Damn it..d-don't stop…pleezeee…" Brooke groaned. There was something she was trying to remember. Something he had said that upset her from before. Lucas had said something. Right? Her mind was starting to fog up from his actions. He always made her body do things that she didn't know it could do. It was all too much for her brain to process all at once. His hand squeezing her breast, his lips and tongue working on her clit and his fingers sliding in and out of her core, she was almost there. Her inner muscles began clenching around Lucas's fingers. She held his head in place with her right hand and her left hand was playing her breast. Brooke went as rigid as board as the waves of her orgasm hit her. Lucas took his fingers out and placed his hands on her hips to hold her still as her warm liquid spilled into his mouth.

"Holy shit…" Brooke panted as she started to come down from her orgasm.

"Glad you enjoyed that..." Lucas stood up from the floor and helped Brooke up from the couch. He kissed her deeply and she could still taste herself. He pulled her into his arms and she rested her head on his chest. She could hear his heart thumping away and she smiled.

"Do you want me to stay?" Lucas whispered.

"Yes…Can you hold me just a little longer?" Brooke answered.

"Anything for you, Pretty Girl…"

Brooke felt so safe and protected in that moment. When she was in his arms, she felt like nothing else really mattered.

Not school or cheerleading or anything else. The only thing that mattered to Brooke Davis was that she didn't want to be with anyone else. She knew that no one would ever compare to him. And if she was the only one who saw the good in him, then that was ok with her. Because what she thought was all that really mattered. Nothing could ever change this simple fact.

She only wanted to be with him.

No matter what.

To Be Continued…


	4. One Thing

_**Author Notes: So after moving into a new place and dealing with some real life drama, I bring you another chapter. Sorry for the delay. I hope you guys like it. Feel free to point out the mistakes I am sure there are a couple lol.**_

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 4 – One thing…**

_Sometimes you can get caught up in a moment. Sometimes you can make a choice that ends up defining the rest of your life and you don't even know it. _

_But when you are there in the moment, you don't worry about the consequences of that decision. You just know that it feels right._

_And that feeling is all that matters…_

September 5th ,2006

The sun crept through the blinds and sliced into the darkness. One of the beams shined directly onto the bed of Brooke Davis. Normally when this sort of thing happened Brooke would just grumble and pull her blanket back over her head. Not today though. Today, she was going to be spending the whole day with her boyfriend, Lucas Scott. She flung the covers off of her body, stretching herself like a cat that had been sleeping in a ball.

God, she was so happy.

"Lucas…" She whispered to no one. She just really liked the sound of his name; it made her get this goofy little tingle all over from just saying it. Things had been going so well between her and Lucas. He was acting like a completely different person. There were still some moments when the old 'Lucas' would show up but that didn't really bother Brooke. She just was glad to have him back in her life. Her phone started vibrating from the nightstand and she quickly grabbed. There was only one person that would call her at 9am on a Saturday and not get cussed out.

"Hi Haley…" Brooke said as she brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello stranger…"

"Stop it has not been that long…"

"Yes it has been but I guess I can forgive you. So how are things going with Broody Mc Squintypants?" She couldn't help but laugh at the nickname. She could also tell that it was Haley-speak for 'I miss my friend'. Haley was right though she had been spending every free moment she had with Broody. She just wanted to be near him all the time.

"Broody McSquintypants? Really?" Brooke trying to sound annoyed.

"Well, it sounded good when I made it up last week…" Haley giggled.

"Maybe you should go back to the drawing board…"

"Soooo what is the plan for today? I thought maybe we could hang out at my house…" Haley started to say but Brooke cut her off.

"I am actually spending the day with Broody…"

"Really?" Haley groaned.

"Yes, really..." Brooke didn't really know where Haley was going with this but she could hear the disappointment in her friend's voice.

"Another day with Lucas? I mean…you two have been spending a lot of time together…" Haley's voice went from disappointment to frustration rather quickly. Why couldn't Haley see that she was happy? Every single time she talked to her, Haley had to question the relationship. And at first, Brooke just thought it was Haley being her usual overprotective self. But lately, it was starting to hurt her feelings.

"You know what Haley? Just drop it. Lucas is my boyfriend and we are spending time together…why can't you just be happy for me?" Brooke took a deep breath and tried to remain calm. She didn't want this to turn into a fight.

"Brooke, I am happy for you. I just don't want you to throw yourself back into this head first without…" Haley started to say but Brooke interrupted her.

"Goddamn it, Haley! I am not stupid! Stop talking to me like I don't know what I am doing!" Brooke shouted into the phone.

"I know you are not stupid! But when it comes to Lucas, you are very very stupid!" Haley shouted back.

"Did you just call me stupid?"

"Yes! You are being very stupid, Brooke. You are letting him in again and that is beyond stupid!"

"Oh, so the truth finally comes out!" Brooke knew it all along but she never thought that she and Haley would talk about it.

"Brooke, Lucas Scott is a bad person! People like him never really change! Do you need me to run through the list again?" Haley shouted again.

"Well since you are so much smarter than me, maybe you should tell me!" Brooke could hear a tiny voice coming from somewhere inside of her. It was asking her to just leave this alone. That nothing good was going to come from confronting Haley. But she knew couldn't let this go and one way or another this needed to be settled.

"He barely talked to you! He never told you how he felt about anything! And when he finally decided to tell anything he would try and break up with you! He treated you like a piece of shit! Do you remember any of this? Because I do!" Haley sounded so hurt but Brooke didn't even notice. She just fired back again.

"Haley, I know you hate Lucas and I know you have never liked me being with Lucas! And you have always made that clear! But bringing up the past isn't going make me feel any different!"

"Past? Brooke, it was like two damn months ago! Why can't you see that this is going to end just as badly as it did the last time?" Haley growled back. Brooke took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. Her best friend in the world was not only insulting her judgment, she was telling her that her relationship was doomed.

"All I have ever asked from you, Haley, was just to be my friend. Not my judge and jury, or counselor or moral compass. And hearing you say stuff like that is making wonder why I am even friends with you. You called me stupid and said that Lucas and I have no chance." Brooke said calmly.

"I have never tried to judge you…" Haley still sounded pissed but she had calmed down a little bit since the start of the fight.

"You have been judging me ever since I told you I was trying to work things out with him. What kind of friend makes you feel shitty for being in love? I don't need that around me…" Brooke said.

"Brooke, I am your friend. I shouldn't have to lie to you. Especially when I see you making the same mistakes again… And if you don't think we should be friends because I am trying to tell you the truth…" Haley paused for second. Brooke knew Haley was right and she wanted to believe that she had her best interests at heart. But she just couldn't get past the way she said it. Everything Haley had been telling her over the last few days just kept echoing in her head.

'_Are you out of you goddamn mind?'_

'_And you can't go back to that…'_

'_You always have your blinders on when you deal with him.'_

'_Listen to your brain as much as you listen to your heart.'_

Brooke knew that if she kept talking to Haley, she would end up questioning every single thing that Lucas did. She just wanted to enjoy being with him and she didn't need to hear why she was stupid for following her heart. She loved Haley. She was more than a friend, Haley was her sister. But she couldn't handle her constant negativity about the choices she was making. She didn't want to make a choice like this.

"Yeah, I don't think we can be friends anymore…"

"Brooke, what are you saying?" Haley sounded like she had been slapped.

"What I'm saying is that, I don't need someone second guessing me. I love Lucas and I am tired of having to defend that choice to you all the time."

"Just stop... I am not trying to second guess or judge you. I just don't want you to get hurt again. Brooke, he broke your heart in a million pieces…"

"See? You can't just say how you feel about me…you always have to tear him down every time…and I am sick of it. So until you can get past whatever this is, you and me, we have nothing to say to each other…"

"Brooke…You can't be serious…"

"Bye Haley…"Brooke closed her phone and pulled the covers back over her head. She held her pillow tightly as she curled into a ball. Did she make the right choice? Maybe she was overreacting and Haley wasn't trying to make her feel like crap.

Maybe she was wrong.

**Later on that day…**

The day with Lucas was amazing. He showed up (on time) and looked beyond amazing to her. His hair was slicked back with a couple strands of his blonde hair hanging in face. He was wearing the black 30 Seconds to Mars t-shirt that she had bought him and a pair of dark blue jeans. Brooke decided on wearing a simple yellow sundress that tied up behind her neck. A walk on the beach with a picnic lunch from Karen's Café and then a round of mini golf followed by a movie. It was everything that Brooke was hoping it would be. But the whole time she was out with him, she kept thinking about her fight with Haley. Did she really just stop being friends with her? Could she really cut Haley out of her life like that? Best friends that you grow up only come around once and the weight of the decision was finally starting to hit her once again. And even though she was sitting in the passenger's seat and tightly holding Lucas's hand as they drove back to her house, Brooke Davis was feeling like shit.

"Brooke, what's got you so quiet?" Lucas asked as he turned down the music. Brooke shifted slightly in her seat so she was pretty much facing him.

"I had a fight with Haley this morning…" Brooke sighed.

"Haley? Who is Haley?" Lucas asked.

"My best friends…Lucas, are you being serious right now?" Brooke groaned.

"I was just kidding…what happened?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it…I could really use a drink… "Brooke turned in her seat once again. She didn't want to talk about this or her problems anymore. Thins thing with Haley had been hanging over her head all day and she didn't want to waste anymore her time with Lucas on it.

"Yeah, a drink sounds great. Where did you want to have this drink?" Lucas asked. Brooke could hear it in his voice that he was going to try and 'get lucky'. They still hadn't slept together since restarting the relationship. There had been a couple of close calls. Really close but they had managed to hold off on it. Brooke looked over at her boyfriend and left a tingle shoot through her body. He just looked so damn sexy sitting there driving this loud and powerful car down the street. Every doubt that she thought she was having faded into the background. She was young and in love with the man of her dreams and that was all that matter to her.

"Let's go to the Rivercourt…" Brooke leaned back in her chair and exhaled as the wind blew through her hair. The sun was going starting to go down and there wasn't anyone else she would rather be with.

The sun had gone down finally and the shoreline was lit up. The lights reflected off of the water in a almost hypnotic pattern. And there was a cool breeze coming off of the water. It wasn't cold but it was just enough to add to the atmosphere. Lucas was shooting hoops and Brooke was just sitting on the hood the nursing the drink that he had made for her. It was just some orange juice with vodka in it and at this point it was more vodka than a mixture of the two. Brooke smiled at him. How could Haley ever think that Lucas was a bad guy? He was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

"Come here boyfriend." Brooke called out and Lucas made his way over to her.

"Yes Pretty Girl…" Lucas was standing right in front of her now.

"God I love it when you say that…" Brooke whispered.

Lucas stood between her legs and rested his hands her waist. His breath still smelled of the orange juice vodka medley that they had been drinking and Brooke could feel her defense crumbling once again. His right hand slowly started sliding up her thigh. She smiled from the feeling. Her body just seemed to hum whenever he touched her. She scooted herself closer to him, bringing her face closer to his. It felt like it had been a lifetime since she had felt Lucas inside of her. And even though she wanted to wait and not rush back into having sex with him, Brooke didn't want to wait anymore.

"Lucassss…Can you do me a favor?" Brooke hissed into his ear. She inhaled his scent and it made her even more excited. And like always, the liquor was making her feel braver than she was. Brooke started unbuckling his belt slowly.

"And what favor is that, Pretty Girl?" Lucas whispered into her ear. His hands had made their way under her sun dress and rested on her hips. She could swear that electricity was shooting out of his fingers and flowing across her skin. His fingertips started playing with the waistband of her panties. Brooke smiled and kissed Lucas. At first she just gently pressed her lips into his, just enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers. She opened her mouth and slid her tongue into Lucas's mouth. His tongue began rubbing against hers.

The kiss was intense and Brooke could feel something building up inside of her. She broke the kiss and stared intently into Lucas's eyes. As she sat on the hood of the Mustang, her entire body seemed to crying out for the one thing that she had been denying herself. They were back together now. And she wanted to prove it to Lucas and to herself. Lucas started to place kisses on Brooke's neck and collarbone. He would continue to alternate from placing kisses to sucking her skin into his mouth. Brooke held her breath while Lucas worked over her neck. She always held her breath because she couldn't believe the way he made her feel. And because it always took her brain a few seconds to process what was happening.

"Still waiting to hear what you wanted me to do…" Lucas mumbled as his lips dragged across Brooke's throat and back to her pulse point once more.

"Y-you don't know…uhh…I mean…" Brooke could barely get the words out. She had abandoned her attempt to get Lucas's belt off and pants unzipped. Her right hand was holding on to the back of his head while her left hand was trying keep her from falling back on to the hood of the car. Lucas stopped sucking on her neck and looked into her eyes. There was something in the way he was looking at her. It was almost like he was trying to prove his power over her. Brooke felt a chill at the small of her back from the look on his face.

"I mean you know what you want from me… I can see it…I know how much you need it…" Lucas slid his hands underneath her dress again and started sliding her panties past her hips and down her thighs. Brooke closed her legs to keep Lucas from pulling them down further.

"Excuse me…" Brooke wasn't sure if it was Lucas or the alcohol talking at this point. But either way she didn't understand where he was going with this.

"You don't think I see you…but I do. In class, in the gym during practice, I can feel you looking at me. I can see it when you look at me. I felt it when you looked at me that first day of school. "Lucas put his hands in between Brooke's thighs and started to open them.

"You want me…you want me all the time. You always want me. You need me inside of you…you can't take it anymore…telling me how you can't do this, how you can't be with me. But here you are…" Lucas started pulling on her panties again.

"Because we both know that you need me…you always have…and now I have you right where I want you…" Lucas pulled her panties down to her ankles and pulled her left foot out of them. Even though she knew that she needed to put up some kind of resistance, Brooke couldn't think of anything. He was actually telling her that he knew how much control he had over her. How much power she had given him. His hands opened her thighs and she helplessly allowed him to do so.

"I want to hear you say it…" Lucas said as he moved himself between Brooke's legs once more.

"W-what are you saying?" Brooke stammered.

"First, I want you to finish taking it out for me…" Lucas sounded so different than before. He seemed to be enjoying the fact that he was in control. Brooke didn't like the way this was going. It was making her feel like his plaything. But she knew that she wanted him. She unbuckled his belt and slowly unzipped his pants. She could see his erection bulging through his boxer briefs. Brooke was mesmerized by it. Seeing it again and realize how close she was to feeling it deep inside of her again, Brooke made up her mind right then and there.

Drunk or not, she needed Lucas inside of her once again and she would do whatever he wanted to feel him again. She pulled his boxer down slowly revealing his swollen member. Her body tingled from the sight of it. Her hand started to reach out to touch it. It was like her hand was being pulled towards it on an invisible thread.

"Do you wanna touch it?" Lucas took held it in his hand. Brooke watched as he slowly stroked himself. She nodded silently as her eyes stayed focused on it. How could she let somebody treat her like this? Was this really what being in love meant? Having the person you love trying to make you feel weak because you want them? Brooke gently wrapped her fingers around his swollen member and began playing with it. She couldn't believe how warm it felt in her hand. It was heavier than she remembered and even though Lucas was talking down to her, she still wanted him deep inside of her.

"That's my Pretty Girl…now put me inside of you…" Lucas whispered into her ear. There was something about the way he said it. Through the haze of alcohol and confusion, Brooke could only feel one overpowering emotion.

Fear.

Fear that if she didn't go with whatever Lucas wanted, she would lose him. She was so scared that if she didn't do any and everything that he wanted, she would lose him. And even though she was the one who ended things the last time but somewhere along the way she had given control to Lucas. She made the entire relationship about doing things to keep him happy and less about working on the things that had broken them up in the first place. Brooke gently pulled Lucas closer and scooted herself closer to his midsection. The tip of his member grazed between the outsides of her center. Her entire body shivered like she was sitting on a giant ice cube and little goose bumps appeared on her arms. There was no way she would be able to let this feeling go. Brooke let her fingers move a little further down his shaft until his head was touching against her wrist. She placed him at her opening and slid him around it, getting the tip of it wet with her liquids. She moved it around again and her thigh quaked from the motion.

"S-shit…" Brooke stuttered from the action. She slid him up slowly to her clit and dragged him around the wet flesh surrounding it. Lucas made this half laugh half moaning sound and it made her smile. She wanted to take him for another spin around her clit but Lucas had other ideas.

"I said put me inside of you…" Lucas growled as he gripped the base of himself and pushed in full length deep inside of Brooke.

"D-damnit…that feels …that feels…" Brooke tried to speak but Lucas began pumping himself into her. He was definitely bigger than she remembered. Or maybe it had just been awhile since she had something larger than her fingers or Lucas's tongue inside of her. As her insides stretched to accommodate his girth, Lucas continued talking into Brooke's ear.

"See how much you want me? We are out in public, fucking on the hood of my car, and you don't even care if there are any people around…all you want is my dick inside of you…isn't that right…" Lucas was timing his thrusts with his words. There was something different about the way he was going in and out of her. He wasn't pulling back as far when he withdrew. It was like he was trying to keep as much of himself as possible buried inside of her. His movements were quick and forceful. If the car wasn't parked it would be rolling back into the water. His hands were on her hips, pulling her body forward each time his pushed into her. Brooke's entire body would shudder each time he did that. She put one hand on the back of his neck and the other on the small of his back to steady herself from each thrust.

"Y-yes…j-juss' don't stop…" Brooke finally answered as she desperately tried to catch her breath.

"Do you need me inside of you…" Lucas grunted and his rod went all the inside and hit that spot way inside of her. Brooke's body shuddered from the depth that Lucas reached. She could feel her core coating Lucas with her orgasm. The wet noises from his movements became even louder. Brooke buried her face in the crook of Lucas's neck and exhaled deeply.

"God…y-yes I do, I always do…"Brooke whispered.

Lucas slid her hands down from her waist and placed them underneath her backside. He gave her ass a little nice squeeze before he lifted from the hood of the car. Brooke locked her ankles underneath Lucas's ass and his hands started guiding her up and down the length of his rod. Her body shuddered every time he slid her down his length. He still kept up the quick pace and she was just barely hanging on. They weren't even talking anymore. The sounds that could be heard was the steady smacking sound of Brooke's ass hitting against Lucas's waist and the grunts that were coming from Lucas. Brooke was barely even aware of that as she could feel another orgasm approaching. It was like the head of his dick was only hitting this one spot inside of her and every time he hit that space she would feel like she was going to cum again.

"Fuck me good, Lucasss…sh-shit…I'm gonna…" Brooke released another warm blast all over Lucas's crotch. She felt like spaghetti and could barely continue holding for the rest of the ride. Lucas curled into a wicked grin and sat Brooke back down the car. She was spent like she was after every time Lucas had his way with her. But he usually would have came by now. Maybe the alcohol had given him some new ability to last longer. Her buzz had worn off two orgasms ago but she still was in a haze.

"We aren't done yet, Pretty Girl…" Lucas said. He took Brooke by her hand and helped her stand up. He placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her deeply. Brooke moaned into the kiss and her tongue quickly met his. Once the kiss broke, she could feel Lucas's hand on her shoulder gently pushing her down. Brooke knew what he wanted and she wasn't the biggest fan of doing that, she was horny enough to just go with it. She sunk to her knees until his manhood was in her face. Brooke took him into her mouth and started moving her hand up and down him. She could still taste herself on him and something about that turned her on more. Brooke could hear the groans of pleasure coming from Lucas. She loved the way he sounded. The way that he was saying her name as she slowly sucked him and the way he was playing in her hair while she did it. But it wasn't enough for her. Lucas was right. She still needed him inside of her.

"I want you back inside of me…" Brooke looked into his eyes from her knees and she could tell that he wanted the same thing. Lucas helped her up once again and kissed her again. Once he broke the kiss he turned Brooke around and bent her over the hood of the car. As she felt Lucas lift her dress up and place his hands on her hips, Brooke was a little surprised but still turned on. She liked this. Actually she loved it. She didn't feel bad about Lucas having this power over her, she couldn't live without it. Lucas slowly pushed himself back inside of her center and Brooke pounded on the hood of the car.

"Fuck…" Brooke pounded on the hood once more. God he felt even bigger than before and her knees started to buckle just from him working his dick inside of her.

"This is all mine…and I am going to make it all mine…" Lucas grunted as he finally filled her with all of himself. Brooke felt like she was going to burst right at that moment. She could feel him slowly dragging himself in and out of her. His hands were still holding to her hips like he was trying to keep himself from ending right then and there. She could feel his dick growing inside of her walls. She knew what was going to happen and usually she would tell Lucas to pull out and let him release anywhere he wanted to do. But something inside of her was saying she needed more. Lucas continued pumping himself into her core and a steady stream of 'I love you's and 'fuck me's kept coming out of Brooke's mouth. There was something she had always wanted Lucas to do.

"Jesus, Brooke I can't…I'm gonna…" Lucas grunted and started to withdraw from her warmth.

"Not….not yet…Face to face…" Brooke gasped. Lucas exited her and they got back into the postion they had started with. Lucas was already deep inside of Brooke once more. His pace had once again quickened and Brooke knew that he couldn't hold his orgasm back any longer. They had been fucking for so long and there was only one thing that Brooke wanted from Lucas.

"God, Brooke…I am going to cum…" Lucas tried to pull out but Brooke locked her ankles behind him once again. She wrapped her arms around him and held Lucas has still as she could. She wanted this.

"Do it inside of me…" Brooke whispered. Lucas looked into her eyes and continued pumping himself into her once again.

"Really? I wanna hear you say it…" Lucas still kept moving his hips so that he was still going in and out of her.

"Cum inside of me, Lucas Scott…please…" Brooke whispered into his ear. Lucas started pounding himself into her once more. He started grunting with each stroke he made. She could feel his member swelling inside of her. He looked into her eyes and Brooke knew what was about to happen.

"Do it Lucas…pleeze do it cum for me…"

"Oh god…" Lucas made one final thrust and he released himself deep inside of Brooke. She had never felt anything like this. She could feel his seed squirt inside splashing against hers walls. God it felt so good to have him do that. His release seemed to last forever and yet it was over far too quickly. Brooke buried her face in the crook of Lucas's neck again. She didn't want him to move just yet.

"I love you Lucas Scott." Brooke said.

"I love you too." Lucas answered back.

Brooke couldn't help but smile. For once everything seemed like it was going to be ok.

**To Be Continued…**


	5. I don't remember a moment

_**Author Notes: Thanks to BJG, Brucas10,OTH-Brucas-love, and JustLikeBrookeDavis for reading and reviewing this story. Special thanks to BDavisLScott23 and Diane because you guys are the reason I work so hard. Hopefully this chapter lives up to your expectations. Thanks again to my partner in write OMGOTH23 for reading every paragraph and telling me it doesn't suck. Talk to you guys later…**_

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 5 – I don't remember a moment I tried to forget…**

_Relationships, good or bad, eventually change. They can blossom and grow into something even stronger and beautiful you could ever imagine. _

_Some relationships are just doomed. And no matter what happens you can't stop them from falling apart. They seem to just start racing towards this preordained moment. I guess you could say that this was the first step towards my own moment of destiny. _

_A destiny that I really wasn't ready for…_

October 4th, 2006

Brooke moaned once again as Lucas plunged inside of her again. Since that day at the Rivercourt they had been making love every single day for the last month. They could barely be in the same room without wanting to jump on each other. But most of the time it wasn't sex.

Most of the time it was just Lucas fucking Brooke senseless.

"Damnit L-Lucas...uhh…" Brooke could barely focus on anything but the feeling of Lucas's hands on her hips and the feeling of him going in and out of her from behind. They didn't have enough room in the broom closet for anything but from the behind. She had gone out of her way to wear a skirt to school every single day just so if the moment struck them. She had gotten to school on her own and like always she was running late. As she quickly made her way to her locker, she went pass the closet and without warning the door popped open and she was pulled inside.

"God…" Lucas grunted as his pace quickened and the intensity of his thrusts grew. It was like he was trying to force Brooke through the wall. She desperately looked for anything to try and hold on to. Her thigh was practically vibrating and Brooke that staying in this standing position would end with face down on the floor and her backside pointing straight up in the air. Not she would mind it but they didn't have that much longer before the bell rang.

"Ahh…shiiittt…I'm..gunna…Lucasssss…"Brooke squealed as Lucas pushed himself inside of Brooke as far as he could. He had once again found that sweet spot inside of her core once again. And as her orgasm thundered through body, she could feel the resolve that her legs once had fading. As slowly started descending to the floor, Lucas guided her down making sure that she didn't bump her on anything. Sure enough, Brooke was in the very position that she had thought about earlier. The floor was cold enough for her to push herself up so she was on all fours and amazingly enough, Lucas was still behind her and had managed to stay inside of her all the way down to the floor. Lucas had positioned himself so that he was on his right knee while he balancing himself on his left. He put his hands on her hips and just as he was about start again, the alarm on his cell phone chirped.

"Lucas, we need to stop…bell is going to ring in a few…" Brooke looked back over her shoulder at her boyfriend. Lucas had that same look on his face that he had on the Rivercourt. In fact, lately he always had that look on his face. She already knew what was going to happen and as always, Brooke just wanted to make him happy. His grip tightened on her hips and started to slowly pull her ass towards his waist.

"I don't care about the bell. Or school or anything else right now… all I care about is giving you…all of this dick…" Lucas hissed through his teeth. He pulled back until once he was deep inside of her again. He started making those familiar but so very effective quick strokes.

"F-fucking…fuck…" Brooke slumped down so she was face down on the floor which gave Lucas deeper access to her insides. He pulled her back that one last inch and held himself there for what felt like hours to Brooke.

"This is mine and I don't care who knows…I would fuck you in the middle of the gym if I wanted to." Lucas stopped with the quick strokes and switched to the slower long ones. And every time he slid back inside of her, he spoke.

"And you would let me, wouldn't you?" Lucas slowly withdrew and went back in slowly again.

"Y-yes…uhh…anythin' you wan…" Brooke stammered as she slapped the floor as she felt his member drag in and out of her walls. How much more of this could she really take? He was giving it to her like they didn't have another 6 hours of school left. Lucas groaned and picked the pace back up once again.

"S-shit…I can't…oh please…I can't…" Brooke begged but Lucas just continued his assault. He was back to making those short quick strokes where he didn't fully pull out once again. She felt like a ragdoll and if Lucas kept this up she wouldn't able to get off of the floor. It had gotten so hot in the room that her hair was coming out of the ponytail she had pulled it into. Lucas stopped for a second. He leaned over slightly while keeping his left hand on her hip. She felt his fingers wrap around her ponytail. Lucas pulled on it just enough to make Brooke get up from the floor. Her body arched towards him as he adjust his grip on her hair.

"I love this ponytail of yours…" Lucas growled. He pulled at it with a little more force this time causing Brooke's head to tilt back further. She took a deep breath and held it in and Lucas continued sliding in and out of her while held her tangled sweaty mess of hair in his hand. He changed his motions once again.

"Your pussy feels so good…" Lucas whispered. This time they where these short, hard thrusts that moved her but with Lucas holding her hair she didn't move at all. Brooke could only make these low groaning noises and she honestly didn't know where they were coming from. She could only hear the sounds of her slapping against his torso and the groans from Lucas as well. And she even heard the bell ring signaling the end of first period. But she didn't care about it. She could hear the students roaming the halls and the lockers opening and closing. But it didn't matter because Lucas was inside of her.

"Just because the bell rang, doesn't mean anything…"Lucas pulled out of her which made Brooke gasp at his sudden exit. He smiled and quickly turned her over so she was on her back. He pulled up her shirt exposing her bra which he pulled out of the way exposing her breasts. His mouth locked onto her nipple and his tongue swirled around it and his right hand squeezed it.

"I will fuck you until you can't stand up…Because I can…" Lucas mumbled with his face mashed against her chest. His tongue slid back and forth between her breasts.

"Goddddd…you are sooo fukkin' good at that…" Brooke groaned. Soon she could feel Lucas at her opening. He slipped the whole thing back inside of her quickly. His hips were moving with reckless abandon now and his lean muscular form was pressed against her chest. She absolutely loved it when he was this close to her. She felt like he was covering her in his scent. The entire head of his dick hit that sweet spot inside over and over again causing Brooke to have at least two more orgasms. She was sure that she had soaked him.

"Uhh-uhh…Luke…"Brooke was completely spent. And there was much else her body had to give this point. She looked up into Lucas's face and smiled.

"Are you still with me, Pretty Girl?" Lucas asked.

"Y-yessss…" Brooke tried lifting her hips into Lucas's thrusts. There was a new wrinkle that Brooke had become obsessed with. She could feel him starting to swell inside of her walls and she knew what she wanted. Her ankles locked behind his thighs and started chanting to him.

"C-cum in me Lucas…I want it inside of me…give it to me…" Brooke moaned from each movement of his dick. She could feel he wasn't going to last much longer.

"I am…I am….unnh…Brrrrroooookkkkeee…" Lucas spilled inside of Brooke. As she felt the warmth splash into her, she didn't care about what may happen because of it. She needed for Lucas to feel like she belonged to him and letting him cum inside of her was the only thing she could think of it.

"Goddamn it, Luke…" Brooke wrapped her arms around him and held her legs in place. They stayed that for a few minutes until they caught their breaths.

And after first he did it, she got addicted to it. Just knowing that he was going to made her feel like she had never really been alive. And she said she was ok with him doing that, Lucas made sure he came inside of her every single time. He gave one more deep thrust into her. Making sure that every drop of his seed was inside of her.

"That was amazing…" Brooke panted as Lucas helped her up from the floor. She fixed her top and slid both of her legs into her panties.

"You are always amazing, Pretty Girl." Lucas gave her that smile that he always gave her afterwards. He pulled his jeans on and buckled his pants up. Lucas quickly pulled her into his arms and held her there. Brooke reached into her purse and brushed her hair back into the ponytail. She knew that they were walking a very fine line between being hopeless romantics and being reckless, irresponsible teenagers. But somehow she was ok with it. Maybe it was the afterglow, maybe it was the thrill of doing it while the entire student body was outside of the door but Brooke had never felt more secure in her relationship than she did in the one moment.

"I would never let anyone else do that. You know that, right?" Brooke whispered into his chest.

"That's good to know…" Lucas said.

Brooke was hoping for a little more of an emotional reply and once again, Lucas had shut her down again. She was really starting to think that the only time they connected was when they had sex. She didn't say anything though. There was no point in it. She was still his girl and that was all she really needed. Lucas kissed her gently.

"Where are you right now?" Lucas asked.

"Here…" Brooke answered.

"No, what's going on in that head of yours? You're in that place again, aren't you? The place where you over think everything." Lucas broke the embrace and checked the door not seeming to really care if he got the answers to his questions.

"I just…"Brooke stopped before she said anything else. She was wrong. Lucas loved her just as much as she loved him. And there was nothing that would make her believe anything else.

"It's nothing. I just need to get some air or something…"

"Yeah, I can't believe we missed first period." Lucas opened the door slowly and led Brooke into the hallway.

"So see you at lunch?" Lucas asked as he turned away from Brooke.

"Yeah…" Brooke watched as Lucas made his way down the hall. And that same feeling of doubt started to creep in. She loved him. More than she did the last time they were together. But there was still this little nagging voice in the back of her head telling her that something was wrong, something was off with the way Lucas would act sometimes. He looked back at her from down the hall and she could that love flowing through her in every possible way. Nah, she was wrong. That nagging voice was wrong. She loved Lucas and he loved her. She waved and watched at disappear around the corner.

"I really do love you, Lucas Scott." Brooke whispered and headed towards second period.

_**Later on that morning…**_

"Hey…"

Brooke was in the bathroom trying to brush her hair out of that ponytail Lucas seemed to really enjoy between third and fourth period when her former best friend Haley James walked in. She hadn't spoken to Haley at all since the fight that they had a few weeks ago. She could see her reflection in the mirror. Haley had dyed her hair to this warm honey blonde color. It looked really good on her.

"Hey…you changed your hair…" Brooke kept her back turned.

"Yeah, figured I could use the change…how are you doing?" Haley asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it matter, Brooke, why wouldn't it?" Haley huffed.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since the last time she had seen her. Part of her wasn't even that mad at Haley anymore. But she couldn't just forgive and forget at this point. Regardless of their history together, Brooke wasn't that sure she that could let Haley back into her world.

"Yeah, I gotta go…" Brooke said without even turning around or even answering Haley's question.

"Is this how things are going to go between us now? I come into a room and you bolt?" Haley sounded sad. Brooke knew that Haley wasn't really upset either and that all she probably wanted to do was make up.

"When I said we aren't friends anymore, I really meant that we are not friends anymore." Brooke still kept her back to Haley. She was looking at her reflection but she didn't make eye contact at all. She could see a smile form on the girl's face.

"Brooke, you've said that to me at least 3 times over the course of this friendship. And we always make up. Because that's what friends do." Haley gently placed her hand onto Brooke's shoulder.

"Why aren't you listening to me? I don't want to be your friend." Brooke rolled her shoulder to get Haley to let her go. She really didn't want to do this right now.

"I have never stopped being your friend…" Haley raised her voice slightly.

"You stopped being my friend as one as I got back together with Lucas…" Brooke said quietly.

"Brooke, stop it. This is about you and me. " Haley said.

"Not right now. I'm leaving…" Brooke mumbled as she shoved her brush back into her purse and tried to make her way out of the bathroom. Haley stood right in her way and placed her hands on her shoulders and did her best to hold her there in the spot. She kept trying to make eye contact with her but Brooke looked anywhere but in her friend's eyes.

"So you can't even look at me now?" Haley said

"I have no reason or need to ever talk to you again." Brooke freed herself from Haley's grasp and took a few steps. She was trying to stay mad but the longer she looked at her, the weaker her resolve got. She was always such a soft touch. She tried to stay mad at people but Brooke knew she wasn't wired for that. She didn't mean what she had said just now but the other part of her was still very hurt by what Haley said.

"I know you and I know you aren't mad at me anymore…" Haley crossed her arms and continued to block Brooke's only escape route.

"Here you go again telling me how I feel again…" Brooke huffed. She hated that everyone could always read her so easily. She tried to mask her feelings with her expression but if there was one person that could see through that it was definitely going to be Haley.

"Are you trying to start a fight with me? Because all I'm doing is apologizing…" Haley started looking down at the floor.

"I don't want you to apologize, Haley. I just want to be left alone…"

"Damn it, Brooke. This is so stupid…I miss you…" Haley ran her fingers through her hair and took a deep breath. Brooke thought about asking Haley for the real reason she didn't like Lucas. Why did she hate him so much? Was there something she didn't know? Did she really want to know?

"Just leave me alone…" Brooke pushed past Haley and went into the hallway.

**After school at Brooke's house…**

Brooke sat on her bed and exhaled sharply. Between the run-in with Haley and the lunchtime encounter with Lucas, she was completely exhausted. This had to have been the longest day of her life. Her mind was racing through everything that had happened. Even after everything that had happened, Haley was still trying to make up with her.

"But that's Haley…" She knew that at some point she was going to talk to Haley again. And she did miss having her around. Maybe she could just talk to her instead of just running away from her all the time. However, Haley had pretty much made her feelings clear during the fight and Brooke didn't want to dig through the rubble of her friendship just yet.

"I do miss her…" Brooke whispered. It had been easier for her to stay mad when she didn't have to see her but having Haley be right in front of her, she had almost forgotten why she had pushed Haley out of her life. Then, just like that, she remembered why.

"Lucas…" As she fell back onto the mattress behind her, her thoughts quickly flashed to her boyfriend. She loved spending time with him and she had loved getting to be with him during the day. However there was a voice in the back of her head whispering that something was wrong. All day she had been telling herself that she was just being paranoid. Lucas hadn't done anything wrong.

"I just need to relax…" Brooke huffed as she kicked off her sandals and they flew across the room. She didn't really want to think about what was wrong with her and Lucas. Even though, he seemed to be getting more and more distant after they made love. Almost like sex was the only thing he wanted from her. But she didn't believe that. He was just a little guarded and didn't need to be close to her afterwards. Actually she had started to get used to it. She was accepting the loss of intimacy that was supposed to come with making love. And if she was honest about it, they weren't even making love when they were together.

"We're just fucking…" She whispered. There was nothing romantic about any of the encounters they had. He would always say something that would sound incredibly sexy while they did it but seemed pretty hurtful afterwards. Brooke didn't know what to think anymore. Was Haley right all along? She held her hands to her face and took another deep breath. Even though she was feeling a little disorientated by this new thought, the voice inside of her head was still whispering that she was missing something.

"If that isn't it then what am I missing?" Brooke sat up from the bed and looked at the vanity mirror that sat on top of her dresser. Her eyes moved from one thing to the next in random pattern.

Pile of clothes.

Her purse.

Her rarely used math textbook.

Her unopened box of tampons from a month ago.

"Still haven't used…Oh my god…" Brooke felt like her world just flipped upside down. She finally figured out what the voice had been trying to remind her of all day. It wasn't Lucas or Haley or any of those other random thoughts.

"This can't be right…" Brooke grabbed her phone and checked the date on it. She started to feel dizzy and sat back down on the bed.

"Has it really been…"She counted the days on her hand and her suspicions were correct.

She was a month late.

**To be continued…**


	6. Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl…

_**Author Notes: Thanks to Diane for reviewing my story literally two seconds after I posted it. You are awesome. JustlikeBrookedavis, OTH-Brucas-love, fallenasleep, and my newest reviewer ILoveSarahSophia thank you for taking the time to read this. You guys make this more fun than it should be.**_ _**And as always, thanks to Dacia, your words gave me the push needed to finish this chapter tonight. OMGOTH23 there is no need to say anything to you because you are always there when I need you. And BDavisLScott23, the answers about Lucas are coming and thanks for the awesome review! **_

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 6 – Anthems For A Seventeen Year Old Girl…**

_I don't when I decided to always follow my heart. But living my life in this way has gotten me to where I am today. I won't lie and say that I have always made the best choices but they were always my own. _

_Each choice good or bad has had its own consequence. And I was never afraid of any consequence that has come from any choice I made. _

_Life, however, had a different plan… _

October 5th, 2006

Brooke decided to stay home from school. She didn't tell Lucas about it and he didn't even call to see why she wasn't there. Normally that would bother her and it actually did bother her. It hurt her but her mind was beyond occupied at this point. She opened up the shopping bag and placed her purchase on the sink in her bathroom and walked back to the doorway.

"There it is…"Brooke stood in the doorway of her bathroom and stared at the unopened pregnancy test. It sat there holding her fate inside of a small box. She was so scared of it and the changes that would come from taking the test. She folded her arms and tried to give herself the confidence she was missing. There was anything to be scared of. Either she was pregnant with Lucas's baby or she wasn't. If she wasn't pregnant, then there wasn't anything to worry about. If she was pregnant though, god she didn't even know where to start or what she should do.

"I don't know what to do…" Brooke ran her fingers through her hair and groaned. She turned around and walked back over to her bed. How could she possibly deal with this? She was barely 17 years old and there was a chance that she was carrying a life. Brooke placed her hands over her stomach and tried to see if she could feel the baby inside growing inside of her. She sat down on the edge of her bed and continued holding her hands on her stomach. She closed her eyes and tried to picture herself with a baby. She grabbed a teddy bear from a nearby shelf and cradled it in her arms.

"Aren't you the cutest baby? Mama loves you…" Brooke whispered and wiggled her finger in front of the face of the doll. She could almost see the face of her baby. Would having a baby be that terrible? Sure her parents might kill her but at least they might actually pay attention to her. Brooke suddenly broke into a sudden flop sweat. What the hell would she tell her parents? The thought of telling Victoria that she was having unprotected sex was one thing but telling her that she was pregnant and that it was by a teenage boy…

"I might as well move to Brazil and change my name so she could never find me again…" Brooke tossed the doll onto the floor and walked back to the door of her bathroom again. She leaned against the doorway and stared at the box again. There was no point in worrying about her parents. After all, why should she bring up sex and pregnancy all in the same conversation? All though if she told them she was pregnant, sex would be the next logic step in the parents' line of questioning. Victoria would tear her apart if she even tried to explain any of the choices she made. Brooke ran her fingers through her hair and sighed. She was getting a headache from even thinking about dealing with the wrath of Victoria Davis right now. She tried to forget about her parents for now.

"So that brings me back to this thing…" Brooke looked at box like it was some kind of puzzle. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to go into the bathroom. The second she went in there, she would be changing her world. Why was she making this so hard? All she had to do was go in the bathroom and take the test. She put her hand over her stomach again and took another deep breath. Did she and Lucas really make a baby? Brooke started to get nervous once again. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and flipped open her phone. It was lunchtime and still no phone call or text message from Lucas. If she was so important to him, why hasn't he even acknowledged that she wasn't at school? She felt a tear slowly roll down her cheek which she quickly wiped away. Is this the kind of guy that she wanted to have a baby with?

"Maybe he's just busy…" Brooke whispered as she made another excuse for him. Lucas had changed since they got back together. At least she thought he did. They barely talked during the day and when they did talk, she always felt like she was bugging him. And lately, she was starting to feel like she was just his sex toy. But damn he was good at making her feel good. Every single time they did have sex, she could still feel him inside of her afterwards. She couldn't really explain it but it was like a ghost touch. Like her body was still reacting to him being inside of her. Even as she was thinking about him, Brooke could feel his hands on all her body. She could feel herself getting lost in the moment like she always did.

"Ok, shouldn't be having these thoughts right now…"Brooke took a deep breath and tried to calm down. God, just thinking about him got her worked up. Nobody could ever make her feel the way Lucas did. But she always felt like she was on a roller coaster when she was with him. She could go from happy to sad to happy all in the span of a minute.

Was this the kind of person that she wanted to have a child with?

She wanted to say yes. But how could she say yes when she was barely old enough to make such a decision. Brooke knew that she loved Lucas in a way that she still didn't fully understand. Just being around him made her feel like she was having a dream and wide awake at the same time. There would be these moments at would happen between them. There were these little things that no one else ever saw or knew about. The way he smile when he looked at her. The tingle she got just from seeing him. It was like his very presence could affect her mood. She couldn't understand it. Lucas could ask her to do anything and she would do it. Is this really the kind of relationship that she wanted? Would Lucas even be a good father? Are these really the kind of questions a 17 year old girl should be asking?

"Damn it…" Brooke went back into her bed and plopped back down on it. She grabbed her pillow and held it in front of her tightly. She felt like the wheels were coming off of her entire world. And as much as she wanted to blame someone else for the way things were. There was no one to blame but herself. After all if she had just left her relationship with Lucas in the past, she wouldn't be sitting here wondering if she was pregnant. She squeezed the pillow tighter and desperately tried to stop herself from breaking down. The only way she could know for sure was to actually take the damn test. She turned onto her side and stared at the test once more. Brooke could swear that it was ticking. It felt like it was counting down for an explosion. The ticking continued to thump away in her ears and she covered her ears to block the sound. Was this even really happening? Probably not but it seemed pretty real to her.

"Enough !" Brooke jumped out of her bed and slammed the bathroom door shut. As soon as she closed the door the sound stopped. Brooke leaned against the door and slid down it slowly until she hit the floor. She was feeling more overwhelmed than she had ever felt before. This was all too much. Her world seemed to be spiraling out of her control. Everything felt like it was going wrong. All she wanted was to be in love with someone who loved her back. And a best friend to stand by her when thing started to fall apart. Her mind flashed to Haley almost immediately. She honestly missed her. Every day that went by, she missed Haley more and more. Brooke got up from the floor and walked over to her dresser. There sat a framed picture of the two of them. Brooke smiled and ran her fingers over the image. The picture had to be two or three years old. She and Haley looked so happy back then. They would spend every single day together. Then once they got to high school even though they ran in different circles and had different classes, they always held on to each other.

"Nothing's going to change…" Brooke whispered. Haley had told her that the night before the first day of high school. She looked over at her cell phone and thought about calling Haley. She had tried to talk to her yesterday but she completely shut her out.

"Why did I let this happen?" How could she treat her like that? Now here she was standing there needing her best friend and she wasn't there. And why would she want to be there? Brooke had pretty much spit in her face yesterday. Haley had never even said exactly what she didn't like about Lucas. She just wanted Brooke to be careful. But she was so against hearing anything negative about Lucas that she never even gave Haley a chance to talk about what she was feeling.

"I miss you too…" Brooke sat the picture back in its spot. There was no way Haley would come over and help her deal with this. They weren't friends anymore and that was, like everything else, her own fault. She ran her fingers through the tangled mess that her hair had become and sighed again. Even this was getting to be too much for her to deal. All of her thoughts seemed to be a jumble mess. She needed to clear her head and focus on the main task in front of her. Because regardless of anything else, Brooke needed to know one way or another if she was pregnant.

"Okay…" She took another cleansing breath and walked back into the bathroom. She picked the test up and looked at it. The instructions on it seemed simple enough. Something so easy to use held so much power. Her hand trembled slightly but she calmed herself. This had to be done. And no matter how scared or worried she was about this. She had to do this.

"Here we go…"

**Ten minutes later…**

Brooke sat on her bed trying to build up the nerve to go and look at the damn test. She knew that she had done everything right and that the results should be on the test now. Why was she dragging this out? She wanted to go and look. She honestly wanted to go and look at it. But she just wanted a couple more minutes as a normal teenage girl. She didn't want to think about what was going to happen next in her life. She gently placed her hands over stomach once more and closed her eyes. Was there really a baby inside of her? If there is a baby in there how would this change things? What would her parents say? Would she keep it? What would Lucas say? What would Haley say?

"A baby…" Brooke felt a tear slide down her cheek. She got up from the bed and went to bathroom.

"Ok, how am I supposed to read this?" Brooke picked up the instructions and looked them over again. The paper said that the stick was supposed to show two lines if she was pregnant and one line if she wasn't.

"Sounds simple enough…" Brooke set the paper down and looked at the stick. She picked it up and held it facing down so she couldn't see it. She took another deep breath and closed her eyes once again.

"No matter what it says…you haven't done anything wrong. And you will still be Brooke Davis after you look at it…" She opened her eyes and looked at her reflection. She saw a girl that always followed her heart and at the end of the day, there wasn't anything wrong with that. No matter what the test said. Brooke turned the test over and looked at it.

"Oh my god…" Brooke whispered as she placed the test back on the sink.

Another tear slid down Brooke's cheek and she gently placed her hand over her stomach again.

Somewhere inside of her there was a baby growing inside of her.

**To Be Continued…**


	7. Hurricane

**Author Notes: I Suck. My 2010 has been one big fucking joke and well I am doing the best I can with the shitty hand life as dealt me. No matter, I shall press on. Sorry about the wait.**

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 7 – Hurricane…**

_Reality. _

_It always comes along and slaps you in the mouth. Just when you think everything is ok, the world gets flipped upside down and you have no idea which way is up. _

_I went from knowing exactly where I stood in this world to having no idea where my place was anymore. _

_All because I believed in a feeling…._

October 5th, 2006

Brooke Davis was sitting in her car in front of Lucas's house. She had come over right after she had gotten the results of the test. When she saw it she didn't feel scared anymore. After all she loved Lucas Scott. Even though she was scared before, she wasn't anymore. This was the way things were supposed to be. Of course she thought that they would be older than 17 when she did get pregnant. But none of that mattered to her. Because she knew that love would get her through this.

"I can do this…" She took a deep breath and got out of her car. As she walked towards the door, her heart began pounding away in her chest. Why was she so nervous? She was just going to see her boyfriend but something just felt off. Brooke placed her hand on her stomach and she felt herself starting to calm down once again. Even though she wasn't sure there was somebody in there, it was enough to make her feel better.

"Just tell him…" Brooke whispered as she got to the front door and knocked on it. She held her breath and waited. While she stood there, Brooke looked over at the driveway and saw a car sitting there behind the Mustang. It didn't look that familiar. She knocked again, a little louder this time. And within seconds, the door flew open and there he was.

The man of her dreams and the father of her unborn baby.

Lucas Scott.

"Hey…" Brooke couldn't help but smile when she saw him. It felt like it had been a million years since she had last seen him. Just being this close to him washed away any doubt or worry she was having. She looked into his eyes and knowing that a part of him was growing inside of her, made her feel even more connected to him.

"Hey, Brooke…what are you doing here?" Lucas sounded like he was freaked out by her showing up there. He was practically whispering. In fact, it sounded like he didn't want her there at all.

"I hadn't seen or heard from you all day. So, I just came by to see you…I missed you..." Brooke stepped forward to get a hug but Lucas stepped behind the door. Normally you couldn't stop him from hugging her. In fact this was the longest that he had ever gone with touching her in some way. She paused for a moment and looked into Lucas's eyes. They looked a little glassy and red.

"What is it?" Brooke asked.

"Nothing…" Lucas quickly deflected. He was acting was so strange.

"Well, like I said, I haven't heard from you all day." Brooke took a step forward and Lucas took a step back from her.

"Yeah…I had stayed home and stuff…" Lucas kept looking over his shoulder like he was checking for something behind him. He seemed so annoyed by her being there.

"Luke, is there something wrong?" She took a step back from the door and crossed her arms. There was this feeling that had to begun to form in the pit of her stomach. Something was wrong here and she couldn't figure it out.

"Actually I have been meaning to talk to you about something…" Lucas stepped from opened the door all the way and stepped outside.

"Go ahead…" Brooke said as she watched Lucas shift under her gaze.

"Ok…" Lucas took a deep breath.

"Just tell me…whatever it is Luke, just tell me… " Brooke whispered.

"I can't keep doing this…" Lucas said as he looked in her eyes.

"Doing what? I don't understand…"Brooke was still smiling but she could tell that this wasn't going to go well.

"Being with you…I can't be with you anymore…" Lucas paused and lifted his head so he was looking into her eyes again.

"It's over." Lucas said.

"W-what do you mean it's over?" Brooke stammered. She really left like she couldn't stand up. Was this a joke or something? Did he really just say that? Brooke could feel her heart sinking further and further down into this pit that Lucas's words had created.

"I mean you and me are done. This thing between us is over…"

"This 'thing'! Is that what I am to you? A thing?" She still couldn't understand this. In this short span of time, Brooke's entire world had been torn apart. How could he saying this to her? Couldn't he see that this was killing her? This wasn't happening was it?

"We never said that we were together…I mean thought we were just having fun...then you started getting all serious and shit." Lucas started to get that same tone of voice from before. It was the one where it sounded like he was talking down to her.

"That is because I am in love with you, Lucas! All I want is you and it's like you are mad at me for wanting more…" She was trying to find the words that couldn't snap Lucas out of whatever this was. This guy who was talking to her right now was not the same Lucas she fell in love with. The Lucas she loved would never treat like this. It was like he was making her feel stupid for falling in love with him. What kind of person would do that?

"I mean you always took this 'relationship thing' way too seriously. I am 17 years old, Brooke. And to be honest, this is too much for me..." Lucas was talking and she could swear that he wasn't even listening to her. He was just saying what he needed to say so he could get her off of his porch. Like the only thing that was important was his feelings and that she wasn't anything more than a gnat buzzing at his ear.

"Too seriously? All I have ever done is be there for you!" Brooke shouted. Why wasn't he listening to her? Did he just turn off his feeling for her like he was turning off a light switch?

"Brooke. Grow up." Lucas was still talking to her like he was talking to a child. Like he knew everything about the world and she didn't know anything at all. He was trying to make her feel stupid for having any of these feelings.

"So then what was this supposed to be?" Brooke asked. She felt like there a vise around her chest. This wasn't happening. Everything he was saying just seemed so impossible. How could somebody do this to someone they loved? She couldn't breathe or think. Nothing was making sense anymore.

"This was supposed to be fun and it's not anymore. And that's it…" Lucas paused again as the door opened and a curly haired blonde girl poked her head out. Brooke turned to see who it was. She recognized her right away.

"Are you almost done out here? I am starting to lose my buzz… Hey Brooke…" Peyton handed Lucas a bottle of Jack Daniels and he took a long swig from it.

"Peyton Sawyer!" Brooke felt like she was getting punched in the face and the stomach at the same time. Is this the thing that Haley knew about Lucas? Is this why she had warned her to be careful time and time again?

"That's me…" Peyton smirked.

"What is she doing here?" Brooke growled.

"She's here because I want her here." Lucas answered.

"I can't believe you are doing this to me…" Brooke whispered. She looked at Peyton and back at Lucas again. All she could see was red. After all the time they spent and the things she said to him, Lucas was just going to throw her like some used up piece of trash. Everything that she thought about him and believed about him was wrong. And now, all she had to show for this relationship was a broken heart and no reason to feel anything.

"She is reminding me why I started drinking in the first place…" Peyton took the bottle back from Lucas and went into the house.

"I know right…" Lucas laughed.

"So that is all I am to you? A fucking punch line for you and your new girlfriend to laugh at?" Brooke shouted at him.

"There you go being all serious and shit. Look we had some good times but it's over now…" Lucas took another sip from his bottle.

"Fuck you, Lucas Scott. I hate you with all of my heart. I never want to see you again…" Brooke's words were dripping with so much pain that she couldn't even feel the tears that had started to roll down her cheeks. She was all alone again. There was nothing she could do. Her heart had been used and tossed away like a plaything.

"You'll be back…" Lucas said.

"You will never have me again. You will never touch me again. You are a monster and I can't believe that I ever let you inside of me…" Brooke's teeth were clenched so hard that she was hissing the words out. The tears were burning down her face and she couldn't even see past her anger.

"Fine then. You broke up with me before and you came back to me again. So whatever helps you sleep at night..." Lucas's tone was laced with arrogance and nonchalance.

"You son of a bitch…" Brooke hissed.

"You can go now…" Lucas started to turn and walk away but Brooke grabbed him by the wrist. She looked into his eyes once more hoping that maybe she would see some part of the man she fell in love with. He wasn't there anymore. Brooke let his arm go and Lucas went back inside of the house. Then she was all alone again. She gently touched the door and sighed.

"I really did love you…" Brooke whispered.

Brooke stepped off the front porch and wiped her eyes. She took a deep breath and looked around on the ground until she found a pretty good sized rock. A smile grew on her lips as she picked the rock up, walked over to Lucas's car, held above her head and dropped it through the windshield of his Mustang.

"That's much better…" Brooke got in her car and put her hand over her stomach. She started her car and as she drove away the tears began to fall once again.

**Later on that evening…**

Brooke parked her car in front of her best friend's house and just sat there. She couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Even after she had told Haley go to hell on more than once, Brooke couldn't think of anywhere else to go. Brooke looked at the front door of the house and she took a deep breath. Haley wouldn't want her here. Lucas didn't want her anymore and now she was all alone and pregnant. Pregnant by a guy who didn't even really love her and she had no one to turn to. She slammed her fist on the dashboard and began crying once again.

"I am such a fucking idiot…I deserve all of this…" Brooke rested her head against the steering wheel. She just wanted to drive herself off of a cliff. She was worthless. How could she ever love anyone again after the way Lucas treated her? And what was she supposed to do about this little baby inside of her? There were so many thoughts bouncing through her mind; it was driving her insane. All she wanted was to be in love and she couldn't even do that right.

"Why did this happen to me?" Brooke wiped her eyes but the tears kept falling. All she kept seeing in her head was Lucas. His smile, the way he smelled, the way he felt when he was inside of her and the way he would say 'Pretty Girl' whenever they saw each other. She closed her eyes and took another deep breath, hoping that maybe it would help clear her mind but instead another memory flashed in her head.

"_You want me…you want me all the time. You always want me. You need me inside of you…you can't take it anymore…telling me how you can't do this, how you can't be with me. But here you are…" Lucas started pulling on her panties again. _

"_Because we both know that you need me…you always have…and now I have you right where I want you…" Lucas pulled her panties down to her ankles and pulled her left foot out of them. Even though she knew that she needed to put up some kind of resistance, Brooke couldn't think of anything. He was actually telling her that he knew how much control he had over her. How much power she had given him. His hands opened her thighs and she helplessly allowed him to do so. _

He was always going to be there. Floating around her mind and haunting her thoughts every single day. Brooke looked at the house again. There were a few lights but it didn't look like anyone was there. She went to start the car and suddenly someone knocked on the window of her car. Brooke turned to see who it was.

"Brooke? Why are you sitting outside? Are you crying?" Haley said as she opened up the driver's side door.

Brooke turned and saw her best friend standing there wearing her grey sweatshirt, beat up flared blue jeans and bare footed like always. She got out of the car and stood there in front of her friend. She never felt as insignificant as she did in that moment. She couldn't even look at her. Every single thing Haley said had come true.

"Haley…" Brooke started to say but Haley didn't let her finish. She just pulled Brooke into her arms and held her close. "Its gonna be okay, Brooke…" Haley whispered in her ear and moved them so they were standing shoulder to shoulder beside the car.

"No. it isn't okay…" Brooke mumbled as she and Haley leaned against the car. Brooke rested her head on the tutor's shoulder.

"Why do you say that?" Haley slid her arm around her waist.

Before Brooke could say anything else, another memory flashed in her head.

"_C-cum in me Lucas…I want it inside of me…give it to me…" Brooke moaned from each movement of his dick. She could feel he wasn't going to last much longer._

"Because I'm pregnant…"

**To be concluded…**

**Yeah I think I got one more chapter in me because this took FOREVER to write. Again I am beyond sorry for the wait and see you at some point…**


	8. Moving Forward

**Author Notes: Still trying to update all of my stories. This one has a time skip because I am tired of writing about Brooke in high school lol. By the way, there maybe be some implied Baley. Umm other than that enjoy this barely edited update.**

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 8 – Moving forward…**

_Brooke's body arched upwards as she felt Lucas push himself inside of her. Her body shuddered as he worked himself into her. She grabbed one of the bars that made up the headboard and put her free hand on the small of Lucas's back. Why did he have to feel so good? _

"_Ahh…Lucassss…" Brooke felt her inside clutch tightly around his length as she felt herself adjust to him being inside once again. Her body shuddered from his movement and she couldn't make a sound. She looked down in the space between them and watched Lucas go in and out of her center. She never looked at it before but now, she just wanted to understand how he was doing what he was doing. He wasn't going that fast. His dick seemed to appear and vanish with such grace that it was hypnotizing. _

"_You are sooo…d-damn…" Brooke couldn't stop staring at the point they were joined. Lucas raised him up so he wasn't hovering over her body anymore. Lucas had one of his knees on the bed and his other foot on the floor. Brooke opened her legs wider and hooked legs over Lucas's. She placed her hands on either side of her core and started rubbing thumbs over her clit. _

"_God you are so sexy…" Lucas grunted and started pumping himself inside of her once again. He continued going slow. Brooke gasped from his motions. She could swear he got bigger every single time they made love. She could feel her orgasm approaching and she made eye contact with him. Lucas just winked at her and started going faster. Brooke grabbed the sheet beneath her with one hand and squeezed her breast with the other. He was putting so much force behind each thrust that it felt like she was lifting off of the bed. _

"_D-don't stop….donnn…."Brooke stuttered as she shook from the way he was fucking her. There was always a difference between them making love and Lucas fucking as hard and as fast as he could. Whenever he got into that gear, all she could do is hold on and enjoy it. _

"_You are always so wet for me, Pretty Girl…" Lucas brought himself closer to her once again. He started to go faster and his pelvis started to slap into the v-shaped space that her opened legs made. She let the bed go and held onto Lucas with both hands. _

"_O-only for you Lucasss…unnh…just you…"He was going so fast now. It was almost like he was trying to pound her through the bed and all she wanted was for him to cum inside of her once again and make her feel like she was the only woman in the world for him. Her eyes rolled back and she tilted her head towards the ceiling. She felt like she was going to explode from the sheer intensity of Lucas's thrusts. _

"_F-fuck me h-harder…Luke…" Brooke moaned as her body shuddered. _

"_Can you take it?" Lucas growled as started fucking her even harder. His pace was beyond words. _

"_Fuck yessssss…." Brooke hissed through her clenched teeth. _

"_I'm gonna cum inside of you…give you all of my…" Lucas grunted._

_She moaned as she felt his dick get that familiar swell and she knew that moment would be there soon enough. _

But suddenly, Brooke didn't feel Lucas on top of her anymore. She was in the bedroom and she wasn't naked she had on the grey sweatshirt that she had fallen asleep in. No one was there but her. She had the dream again. And like before she laid back down her bed and curled into a ball.

She didn't even know what time it was.

She had been barricaded in her room for the last three days and didn't plan on leaving at all.

When she left Haley's house that night she still felt like dying. This feeling was worse than any feeling she had ever had before. Her entire world had been destroyed in the time it would take to reheat a pizza in a microwave. Her eyes closed tightly and her mind replayed the scene once again.

"_Just tell me…whatever it is Luke, just tell me… " Brooke whispered._

"_I can't keep doing this…" Lucas said as he looked in her eyes._

"_Doing what? I don't understand…"Brooke was still smiling but she could tell that this wasn't going to go well. _

"_Being with you…I can't be with you anymore…" Lucas paused and lifted his head so he was looking into her eyes again. _

"_It's over." Lucas said. _

She squeezed the pillow in her arms as tightly as she could. Every single time this scene played out in her head, she would always shout out herself in the memory. Like maybe if she said something different or maybe she didn't go over there that night, she wouldn't feel so hollow right now. Why did this happen to her? Why would God give her this wonderful feeling and then rip it away from her? She put her hand over her stomach where her unborn child was and laughed.

It was like a cosmic 'Kick Me' sign that lived inside of her. Like it was a constant reminder of how foolish she had been. She closed her eyes tightly and tried to think of anything else but just like before all she could see was Lucas. It was driving her crazy.

He was all around her and at the same time he wasn't there at all. She curled up even smaller than before and started crying. Every time she tried to remind herself that Lucas treated her like a glorified sex toy, all she could think about was how much she loved him. Even after everything that happened, she still loved him. And what kind of person did that make her? Is this what happens when you give you heart to someone? No matter what they do to you, you still feel like you can't breathe without them?

Or if she had listened to her best friend, she wouldn't be just sitting here wondering how she was supposed to take care of a baby with no money, no job and no high school diploma? She felt lost and humiliated. All she really knew was that she wasn't going to leave this room unless her house was on fire.

"Seems like a good idea…" Brooke pulled her blanket back over her body and stared blankly at the wall. She tried to empty her mind and think about anything but Lucas Scott. But he still lived in her thoughts and nothing she did could get rid of him. She shut her eyes once more and the tears started falling once more. There was just this indescribable misery that just seems to be floating over her and trying to hold her down on the bed.

And nothing she did was going to make her feel any better.

Honestly, she didn't want to feel any better.

* * *

Brooke woke up to hear her bedroom creaking open. She didn't bother turning over she already knew who it was. She just sat there and waited for the person to get in the bed with her. She heard the sound of shoes being taken off and her blanket being lifted up off of her body. Brooke turned over and rested her head on the chest of her best friend. Haley slid her arms around her and held her close.

"Did you get out of bed today?" Haley whispered. Brooke just shook her head no and closed her eyes again.

"Can you just hold me?" Brooke whispered back. Haley didn't say anything at all. She had come over every day after school and just sat there with her.

"Brooke, you can't keep doing this to yourself." Haley said as she held her close.

"Just hold me…" Brooke whispered.

She would always ask if she did anything and then she would hold her until the next morning. It was all she could handle anymore. She just closed her eyes and silently hoped that maybe this feeling would go away once she woke up.

* * *

Brooke was sitting on the examination table waiting for the doctor to return. Haley had finally convinced her that she needed to go the doctor and get checked out. She had even taken her to the appointment but Brooke was convinced that she did that just to be sure she actually went. She looked around the office and sighed. She really wished that Haley had come back there with her because every time she was alone her mind would drift back to Lucas. A week had gone by and Brooke still hadn't been back to school.

She just couldn't show her face there. By now, everyone had to know that Lucas was fucking Peyton Sawyer and that once again Brooke Davis was made to look like a fool. She held her stomach and took a deep breath. Everything was so messed up. She was sitting here all alone when Lucas should be there with her.

But did she even want him there?

"Hello, Miss Davis. How are you feeling?" The doctor said as she came into the examination room.

"Ok I guess…" Brooke began to space out as the doctor spoke. She was just going on about how she was indeed pregnant and that next week they would be doing an ultrasound. And Brooke could think about was how she had no idea what she was going to do. This baby was going to change everything in her life. And she was going to have to do this all by herself. There was no way she was going to let Lucas be a part of this baby's life. The tears started welling up in her eyes once again.

"Excuse me, Doctor. Is there any way you could have someone get my friend from the lobby? I need to speak to her…" Brooke said as she wiped away her tears. The doctor nodded and left. A few minutes later Haley appeared in the doorway.

"Tigger, what's wrong?" Haley asked as she closed the door to the room.

"I can't do this Haley. I can't have a baby. Especially his baby." Brooke looked down at floor.

"Why can't you?" Haley sat down on the table on next to her.

"Because…I am only 17 and the father of my child is an asshole. I have no job and no way to support this child. My mother is probably going to kick me out…" Brooke cried. She had never said of these things out loud before and now hearing them made this whole situation real. And she was scared. She was so scared of the whole thing.

"Brooke. Stop. Now I have let you wallow and be sad for way too long. You have to snap out of this. You made a mistake and now you have to deal with the consequences of your mistake. Because this baby is going to need you." Haley got up from the table and stood in front of her.

"What about Lucas? And school? I can't go back there Haley…" Brooke replied.

"Yes you can. And even though you don't want to, you are going to have to tell Lucas about the baby." Haley said.

"I don't think I can talk to him…not yet…" Brooke whispered.

"And you know, no matter what happens… I will always be there for you Brooke…always…" Haley paused for a moment and Brooke looked at her smiled. She was still scared but at least she knew that her friend Haley would be there.

"I love you Brooke Davis." Haley kissed her on the forehead.

"And I love you, Haley James."

And maybe that would be enough…

**7 years later…**

**October 14****th**** 2013**

Brooke Davis had finally gotten home. Today was unbelievable. Nothing at all had gone right at the store. The shipment of new fabric was late, the register broke and she had to do everything by hand, and on top of all of that the roof had leaked on her new design sketches. It all sounded like a good idea 3 years ago when she had gotten her fashion design degree and opened her own boutique in her hometown. Something inside of her had said that no matter what happened in her past Tree Hill was home. It just felt right to open the first Clothes over Bros. store here. The door to her house opened and the nanny, Millicent, was there to meet her.

"How was he today?" Brooke asked her.

"Good as always, Ms. Davis." Millicent answered.

"Glad to hear it and how many times do I have to tell you to call me Brooke. Ms. Davis makes me sound like a spinster." Brooke said with a smile.

"Sorry Brooke, it's a reflex. Well, I'll be back tomorrow and have a good night." Millicent said with a smile and made her way to her car.

Millicent was such a good person and even if she was a little stiff, Brooke was glad that she had found her. She smiled to herself and walked into the house. Just as she walked in, Brooke instantly tripped over skateboard and landed on a Batman action figure.

"Ow, damn it! Connor! Get in here and pick up Batman and this skateboard before…" Brooke shouted but before she could even finish her son, Connor James Davis, was already there picking them up. Brooke got up from the floor and folded her arms. There were some times when she wanted to kill him but he was only 6 so she let a lot of things go.

"Before you put them in the fireplace. I am sorry. I had just sat them there for a second…you don't have to yell." Connor said as he scooped up his skateboard from the floor.

"I do have to yell when I have Bruce Wayne stuck up my…"Brooke stopped herself before she finished that sentence. She knew that was bad idea before she even said it.

"I'll do better okay? Just relax…"

"I am relaxed. I just had a bad day at work but I am good now that I am here with my favorite little man." Brooke smiled and playfully ran her fingers through his sandy blonde hair.

"Mom...quit it…" Connor said sounding a little annoyed as he swatted at her hand.

"Never…did Auntie Haley call and say when she was going to be home?" Brooke asked as she took her heels off.

"As soon as she is done at the Parent Conference thing…she said she would bring dinner home with her. Can I go in my room and play now?" Connor asked.

"Yes dear…" Brooke smiled.

"Thanks Mom." Connor gave her this smile and she had no idea where he had learned how to do it but it always made her think of his father. It was the same smile he would give her. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and marched down the hall to his room.

She plopped down on the couch and yawned. The day was finally over and now she could finally rest. Hopefully Haley would bring something good for dinner. Then she heard a knock at the door. It had to be Millie. She was always forgetting something. As good as she was with Connor she could swear the she would forget her head if it wasn't attached to her body.

"Just a second…" Brooke said as she made her towards the door. When she opened the door, it wasn't Millie standing there. She hadn't seen him since they had graduated from high school. He had a little more muscle on him now. His hair was a little darker and he had this scruffy beard that seemed to work for him. Her heart jumped into her throat. Even after everything that had happened between them, he was still so sexy to her. She swallowed hard and finally spoke.

"Hi Lucas."

"Hey, Pretty Girl. Where's my son?" Lucas asked.

**To be continued...**


	9. Say what

**Author Notes: Sorry I missed the 21****st**** deadline but here is another chapter. Enjoy it and look for another update soon-ish :) **

**It feels like we've never been alive… – Chapter 9 – Say what…**

Brooke Davis couldn't believe this was happening.

"Did you miss me, Pretty Girl?" Lucas hissed into her ear. She nodded helplessly as he heard Lucas unbuckle his pants. In the span of five minutes, they had gone from having an awkward moment in the doorway to the upstairs bathroom. She never understood how he always could do this to her. He had bent over the sink and she could see him behind her in the mirror. He had this intense look in his eyes. It was the same he had in the doorway when he pulled Brooke upstairs. She still couldn't resist him.

"Did you miss this?" Lucas growled. He had pulled her skirt up and exposed her ass. There was no reason for her to even be doing this. Lucas had barely been around over the last few years. But when Brooke saw something inside screamed for his touch. She trembled as she felt Lucas's dick rubbed across her cheeks. His dick felt heavier. It was bigger than before. Brooke gasped as she felt the tip of his dick graze against her lower lips.

"Lucasss…we shouldn't…" Brooke panted. At any minute Haley could home or Connor could up the stairs looking for her. But like always, Lucas seemed to ignore her words and sank his head into Brooke's walls. Brooke's knees practically buckled from the tip entering her. She pounded the sink as Lucas continued to enter her. God he was bigger than she remembered.

"Uhh…shit…" Brooke gasped. She wanted to scream. Her walls continued to stretch and clench as she tried to accommodate his new girth. Then she left a familiar tickle start from deep inside of her. There was no way this was happening already. Her pussy clenched tightly around the part of his shaft that had actually made inside of her.

"Damn, Pretty Girl…are you about to cum for me already?" Lucas asked as he squeezed her hips.

"Uh-huh…you're bigger than….uuhhh…"Brooke tried to say but Lucas continued push his way inside. God was it longer now or had it really been that long since she had someone inside of her like this? This couldn't be happening. Did he really get her this worked up from just getting started?

"And you prettier than ever." Lucas whispered into her ear. Then he took a handful of her hair and pulled her back and made her body arched so her breasts where pointing forward. And almost simultaneously as pulled her back, his cock finished entering her.

"Omigod…" Brooke whimpered as he filled her up completely and her orgasm unexpectedly hit her. Her entire body shuddered and Brooke was spent already. But she knew that Lucas was probably just getting started.

"Damn, Brooke you are still so tight. Bet I can fix that…" Lucas placed his hand on her hips and slowly began pumping himself in and out of Brooke. He still hadn't let go of her hair. It was a good kind of pull not too hard but just right.

Brooke's thighs started to quake almost immediately. It felt so good to have his dick inside of her once more. And it felt so wrong. He kept his strokes quick and hard. Brooke could barely handle it. Her body was on fire from this. She could feel his hand on the front of her blouse. He pulled and her shirt tore apart. Her buttons went flying around the bathroom in every direction. Then his hands were on breasts holding them tightly as his dick pushed into her.

"These got bigger…I like it…" Lucas grunted and squeezed them.

"Ahhh shit…" Brooke couldn't really think of anything else to say. It was like high school all over again. Lucas gives her half of look and she is his all over again. Her rational side was telling her that she shouldn't be doing this with him. That even though she felt like was going implode when her next orgasm hit, she shouldn't be letting him do anything to her.

But she didn't really care about the rational side at this point.

Lucas changed his stroke like he always did. He stayed all inside of Brooke and used his waist to lift her slightly as he moved into her. And he was far enough inside of her, that the head of his cock started bumping against her G-Spot.

"Dammit…ahh…u..ar…gunna kill me…" Brooke grunted. She would never tell him this but after all this time away, Lucas was still the only one who had ever hit her spot. It was all a part of what made him so irresistible. Her legs were practically spaghetti and he was hitting the spot over and over again.

"I want you to ride me Brooke." Lucas wrapped his arms around her waist pulled her back until he was sitting on the edge of the bathtub. He kept his legs together like it was a saddle and Brooke straddled him. Her legs were still wobbly but once she planted her feet, the muscles in her legs stretched and gave her some stability. She placed her hands on Lucas's knees and let him steer her hips until her opening was above his dick. He pulled her down and he slid inside of her with little resistance.

"Unnnghhh….so damn big…" Brooke started lifting her hips up and down his thick member. She didn't know how much longer he could possibly hold out. She could feel Lucas's hands holding onto her hips guiding her up and down his length. He was making those familiar grunting sounds that usually signaled his moment of truth.

"I am gonna cum soon, Pretty Girl…" Lucas gasped as Brooke grinded her hips against his waist. She continued pounding against Lucas with everything she had. As she came down on his cock again, she felt her walls clench once more. She was going to have another orgasm if they kept this pace up. Once again, Lucas took charge of the situation.

"Turn around." Lucas said.

Brooke stood up and turned so she was facing Lucas once again. He lifted her up onto the sink and slipped himself back into her center once more. Lucas began thrust his hips forward causing his dick to plunge inside of her with amazing force. Brooke gripped his shoulder and began to buck her hips forward to meet Lucas's thrusts. Brooke grunted as she tried her damnest to keep up with him.

"Fuck me, Lucas…fuck me harder…uhh…"Brooke chanted over and over hoping to give Lucas that final push over the edge.

"Brooke…" Lucas groaned. She could feel his dick growing inside of her and she knew that his moment was close. She squeezed his shoulder and bucked her hips in these quick little motions which made her clit graze against his length.

"Mutherfucker…" Brooke shuddered once more. Was she really going to have another orgasm? Lucas gritted his teeth and moved his hands so he was cupping her by her ass. He leaned back which caused the brunette to rise up from the sink. Lucas started lifting her up and down his dick. It was almost like he was still moving himself into her with each time she slid down his length. Brooke wrapped her arms around Lucas's neck and buried her face into the crook of his neck. Like so many times before she was just holding on until Lucas was finished wearing her out.

"Thissss..is it…" Lucas hissed as he put Brooke back down on the sink and pulled himself out of her. He put the head of his cock on her clit and moved it back and against her while he was jerking himself off.

"Don't stoppp…make meee cum Lucas…make me cum…" Brooke growled. His dick was acting like a fleshy vibrator against her clit. It made her feel like her entire body was humming. She was panting from his actions like she could barely catch her breath. And just as she was getting ready to fall over the edge, she heard a voice that was not her own.

* * *

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Haley said as she entered the living room from the back of the house.

"Say what?" Brooke stammered as she snapped back to reality. She had imagined the whole thing. Brooke made eye contact with Lucas and he gave this shit eating smirk. He walked past her and whispered so only Brooke could hear.

"I bet I know what you were thinking about."

"Shut up…" Brooke gasped. Damn, how could he still read her like that? She took a deep breath to steady herself. Even though it didn't happen she felt like she had just been caught having sex with Lucas. She kept her back to Haley and Lucas while she tried to get her thoughts under control. This was insane. If Haley hadn't come home would she have gone through with what was floating around in her head?

"So where is my son at?" Lucas asked.

"He is here. I doubt you would recognize him. You haven't seen him since he was born." Haley answered.

"That wasn't my choice. Brooke told me to stay away. And I have done that for five years…" Lucas dropped his head and his body language changed. Haley didn't see it but Brooke could.

"So why are you here now?" Brooke asked.

"I just wanted to see him. I mean, he is part mine and..." Lucas paused for a second but Haley took the opening for another chance to take a shot at him.

"And what are you dying and you want make things right with him and his mother?" Haley smirked.

"I'm not dying but he might if you don't let me see him." Lucas answered.

**To be continued…**


End file.
